Happy Monday, folks!
Here we are with the start of another week in June.
And officially just a few days away from the first official day of Summer, which happens to be June 20th.
And Mother Nature is certainly going to pack a punch with some extreme heat this week.
That means…
Get your AC thermostats adjusted, fans warmed up, and ice cube trays filled…well…that is if you are old fashioned like me and don’t have an ice maker incorporated into your fridge appliance.
Anyhoo, it’s time to get down to some serious business.
For those who may not know (and for those who do already know, here is your refresher), but June is gay pride month.
The official month where we get to celebrate ALL of those that are part of the LGTBQ+ community.
But this year, I have to admit that there have been more moments that I’ve experienced in the past where I feel more scared, unsure, and unsafe.
The year is 2024.
Why is this still a reality that we have to walk out our doors and experience?
Also, real talk for a second.
Like true honesty.
With the way that the political climate is looking for later this year in November, I can also say that I’m scared.
I’m fearful.
I’m frightened.
I’m nervous.
And that’s the honest truth.
The other week, when I was working at my part-time job at the theater, I had to park my car pretty far away in the parking lot because of it being full with guests attending the pool.
I happened to be wearing a romper that evening (which is an adult onesie basically) and during the intermission of the production, I decided to go move my car closer to the theater building for when we would lock up the building and leave (which would be closer to 11:30pm).
But, when I started to walk toward my car, I noticed several large pick-up trucks and what I would refer to as some very straight men in parking spaces by my car.
I stopped in my tracks, turned around, and walked back into the theater.
I didn’t feel safe or comfortable enough to walk to my car in the romper because I was fearful that those men would either make remarks verbally or even physically. You just never know these days.
And with some of the stuff that I’ve experienced in the past, I think moments like this cause the trigger in my brain to relive those traumas.
I felt defeated.
I am someone who is super comfortable in my skin and with my sexuality, but in that moment, I failed myself.
Have any of you ever had a moment in your life where you didn’t feel comfortable or safe just because of the type of outfit you were wearing?
Or to expand on this, have you ever had a moment where you felt unsafe or comfortable because you love someone of the same sex?
Well, I have.
And I continue to experience these moments.
And I will never fully be able to share the true trauma or feelings it makes the mind feel because it is something that you can only understand if you experience it first-hand.
And, many of you reading this will never have the opportunity to experience these moments.
Latst week, while on vacation, my girlfriends and I decided to travel to Atlantic City to experience some casino games and dinner.
And, naturally because I was tan from a few days at the beach, I wanted to show off that brown skin as much as possible.
So, I was thinking about wearing white shorts.
But then, as I sat and stared at the closet of clothes I had brought to wear, I decided against the white shorts because of the feeling that I had in my mind that I would not feel safe wearing them in a place like Atlantic City.
Another moment of defeat for me because the world around me chastises the choices I make for who I love.
Yesterday, at The Ephrata Performing Arts Center, I had the pleasure and honor of participating in a staged reading play called The Temperamentals.
“Temperamental” was code for “homosexual” in the early 1950’s, part of a created language of secret words that gay men used to communicate. The play tells the story of two men–the communist Harry Hay and the Viennese refugee and designer Rudi Gernreich–as they fall in love while building the first gay rights organization in the pre-Stonewall United States.
I got to play the character of Rudi Gernreich and had the opportunity to work alongside some other talented men to bring this production to life.
A brief synopsis that I found on Broadway.com explains the play as the below:
“Set in the early 1950s, The Temperamentals is the true story of the founding of The Mattachine Society, one of the earliest gay activism groups in the United States. Created by Communist and social radical Harry Hay and famed fashion designer Rudi Gernreich, the underground organization came together secretly, building its membership through various forms of covert communication during a time when nearly all homosexuals were closeted. The play explores the trials of the society’s founding fathers as they risked their lives and livelihoods to gain equality. More than just a history play, the show is also a love story, detailing the romance of odd couple Hay and Gernreich as their passion for their cause and each other grew.”
And even though the play takes place in the 1950’s, it was haunting to read and perform scenes of material that are still incredibly relevant (if not even more so today) than they were back in the 50’s.
This reality that I performed yesterday with these men is something that myself (and so many others in this world) are living in 2024.
The fear is real.
It is painful to write words for you that involve the topic of me still having moments of fear on the daily.
It hurts my soul and heart to write that sometimes when I leave the front door in the morning that I have a thought in my brain of what bad could happen to me throughout the day because of who I love.
The rainbow is often a sign of hope for many.
The rainbow is also a sign that causes so much polarization, hatred, and disdain in people around the world.
Those colors of the rainbow are something that our Country needs to work harder at protecting for those who identify with them.
Hope, love, and safety are feelings that ALL should be able to experience.
Sprinkle sunshine always,
JP!
Mr. Sunshine Smiles 