Mr. Sunshine Smiles

Happy last Monday of November, folks!

By this time, I’m hoping that all of the turkey, mashed potato, and cranberry sauce leftovers have been consumed and enjoyed and that the post-feat naps have been completed.

I also hope that you were able to take a few moments to make sure that the thankful part of Thanksgiving came first.

For me, I enjoyed lots of delicious food that included multiples slices of cranberry sauce, homemade mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie covered in whipped cream.

This was quickly followed by a nap in the recliner while NOT watching football.

More importantly, I got to enjoy time with my family and relish in decorating the Welliver household Christmas tree–my favorite Thanksgiving evening tradition.

This year, I enjoyed being able to pick up Mackenzie to have her place a few ornaments on the branches of the tree while everyone else was on “Keep Ellie away from pulling off the lights” duty.

The true joy that you see in their eyes and huge smiles when they see the lights on the tree is priceless.

I guess it’s time to get on with this week’s post before I go off on a tangent and forgot about what words I want to share this week.

Two years ago, I was recovering from a trip to the ER where I was diagnosed with a corneal ulcer on my pupil. It sounds painful. And it was. I had never been in so much pain before in my life.

During the days of recovery after that experience, I remember laying on the couch and putting on Netflix.

On my “Suggested for JP” homepage was the movie, Klaus. According to the brilliant Netflix algorithm, it was a 97% match for me.

The pain and exhaustion from my eye injury was just too much and in true JP fashion when I am tired, warm, and wrapped in a blanket on the couch, I fall asleep.

Needless to say, I don’t remember anything about the movie and had not given myself time to actually sit down and watch.

Until this past Thanksgiving evening.

And boy, am I glad that I did.

So.

Many.

Emotions.

My heart and soul were touched in all the right spots with laughter, tears, and the warm fuzzy feeling that only extremely well-done movies can do.

I don’t want to give much away since I want everyone to watch, so I have included the synopsis below courtesy of IMDB:

“When Jesper (Jason Schwartzman) distinguishes himself as the postal academy’s worst student, he is stationed on a frozen island above the Arctic Circle, where the feuding locals hardly exchange words let alone letters. Jesper is about to give up when he finds an ally in local teacher Alva (Rashida Jones), and discovers Klaus (Oscar® winner J.K. Simmons), a mysterious carpenter who lives alone in a cabin full of handmade toys. These unlikely friendships return laughter to Smeerensburg, forging a new legacy of generous neighbors, magical lore and stockings hung by the chimney with care. An animated Christmas comedy directed by Despicable Me co-creator Sergio Pablos, KLAUS co-stars Rashida Jones, Jason Schwartzman and JK Simmons.”

During the movie, as I was sitting on the recliner, there were so many moments where I thought about the state of our current world.

People fighting against each and becoming so stuck in “their way being right” that they forget what a true act of kindness can do.

And the best quote from the entire movie (which is only one hour and forty minutes) you ask?

“A true selfless act always sparks another.”

PURE.

GOLD.

Honestly, I want every single one of you reading these words to check out this movie.

For a movie that was made in 2019, it is still incredibly timely to the current times we are experiencing.

As I sit here all comfy and cozy in my blanket, I can’t help but think how much more positive of a place our world could be if everyone took a few moments to engage in an act of goodwill and kindness.

So, as we enter the December holiday season, here is your very simple list of tasks to accomplish:

To Do List:
1. Watch Klaus on Netflix
2. Perform an act of goodwill/kindness

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

Hello and happy Monday, folks!

Before I begin, I must take a moment to send prayers, love, and support to all those involved and affected by the Colorado nightclub shooting. Another senseless act of violence against the LGBTQ+ community is frustrating, not ok, and disgusting. We need love. We need change.

Well, here we are getting ready to celebrate the holiday where we will sit back, relax with family, fill ourselves with food, watch some football, trim the Christmas tree, and attempt to remind ourselves on what we are thankful for.

However, it always seems that the ” what we are thankful for” part always comes last on the list and ends up being least important.

The Black Friday sales and deals seem to overpower the true meaning of the holiday.

That means…you guessed it…this week’s post is going to be all about thankfulness.

Taking stock in what we have and stepping back to be grateful and really, truly reflect on what it is in our lives that we are thankful for.

This week’s post is not about the cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes.

It is not about the Black Friday deals.

It is not about trimming the Christmas tree.

It is about being THANKFUL.

As dictionary.com defines it, the word thankful is described as “feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative.”

Well, let’s get down to business with all the thanking that we must do.

I’m thankful and grateful for my parents. I’m thankful for them having the courage to sit down and talk with me about my sexuality even though it was an uncomfortable territory at first. I’m thankful for your patience, understanding, and compassion that you have shown me every step of the way and continue to do each day. Without your guidance, I would not be the man I am today. I would be lost in this world of negativity, hate, and pain if it wasn’t for the constant love that you have used from your souls to raise me on the principles of love and kindness for everyone regardless of religion, social status, ethnicity, politics affiliation, or sexuality. I know that we have had some “crucial conversations” this year about multiple topics that were tricky to navigate, but I appreciate you sharing your perspective, listening to me, and allowing for a better relationship in the end because of all that was shared. I hope I continue to make you proud as I grow through the years ahead on the paths that await.

I’m thankful and grateful for my brother. While you might not have been the most loving sibling to me during our time growing up, I truly wouldn’t want to have it any other way. Even though we may still have fighting battles of words and wit every now and then, you are someone that I look up to and truly admire. You are extremely hard working and I have thoroughly enjoyed watching you mature into a loving husband to Mindy. It also warms my heart seeing you be a wonderful father to both Mackenzie and Ellie. You may have the brain of smarts, but I have the brain of good fashion sense. Ha!

I’m thankful and grateful for my sister-in-law, Mindy. Mindy–you have brought even more grace, love, and support to our family and we could never thank you enough for that. I have been able to witness you as a hardworking mom who wants to give her family all the best no matter what the cost and that melts my heart. I know you’ve been through some very tough times that have rocked your emotions over the years and seeing how you have come out of those trials even stronger is such beautiful a thing. And every time I get to see you interact with your girls, Mackenzie and Ellie, it brings a big smile to my face. I love seeing the energy that both you and Will put into your family and the business.

I’m thankful and grateful for my two nieces, Mackenzie and Ellie. They both continue to bring a whole new level of smiles and innocence to my life that I adore like no other. I have found my inner child getting to build Legos with Mackenzie on the weekly, coloring, reading books, singing, playing hide and sneak or whatever other games that come up! And getting to hold Ellie and hear her cute, baby sniffles and breathing make the inner soul soar with love. I can’t wait to continue watching them grow up even though I wish time would slow down! I’m very much looking forward to snapping more Uncle JP selfies with both of them in this next year!

I’m thankful and grateful for my coworkers (at both the full time and part time locations) whom I get the pleasure of being around on the daily. While I continue to navigate the virtual work world (which I have struggled with this year and still have my moments), I’m thankful that each and every one of you is always happy to lend a listening ear or offer a piece of advice on anything that I’m struggling with. All of you bring so much to the table and have helped me grow emotionally and professionally, especially in this past year where I seemed to be so negative about everything and my attitude was just poor. I only hope that we continue to push each other in our future growth paths together in making the lives of those we help day in and day out a bit better. While my part-time job at Loomis will come to an end on 12/30, I’m grateful for the last 4 years that I was able to tackle as an auditor with some really wonderful individuals. Loomis will always have a special place in my heart. And cheers to 2023 and the opportunities that await in searching for a new part-time gig!

I’m thankful and grateful for Melanie, Christine, Jess, Johannah, and all other members of The Den and surrounding areas who have been my in-person office cubicle buddies this year. We have cried, laughed, and grown a lot together as we have conversation that can only happen in the office. My mentality and mood is always lifted by the joy and special talents each of us bring to the table. I’m excited to share 2023 to see what Webstaurantstore 40 has in store for us!

I’m thankful and grateful for all the incredible friends who have supported me throughout my life in different capacities. It doesn’t matter if our paths have crossed for a hot second (literally) in the past, have crossed paths in the present, or will cross paths in the future…each of those moments (or future moments yet to happen) is incredibly special in the evolution of Mr. Sunshine as a human being.

I’m thankful and grateful for Marissa. She has been with me since the beginning (literally) when we grew up as daycare buddies. We have only strengthened our friendship over the years and I can’t thank you enough for always being there to offer your ear for a vent session and advice on whatever I might bring to you. I love that we have our Saturday evening traditions of scary movies, Domino’s pizza, games, or whatever else we decide to pass the time. You are always in my corner and I appreciate that more than you can imagine. I know that 2022 has had your share of struggles, but you have been a trooper through every single one. Here’s to more scary movies, carbs, and successful casino moments (that last less than 2 hours) in 2023!

I’m thankful and grateful for Abby. She is kind, generous, and compassionate. I’m grateful for the fact that we can just sit on the couch, put on a Disney princess movie, and have the best time watching. When I’m with you, I always know that I will be laughing and having a good time regardless of what we end up doing. Thanks for allowing me to experience Fenwick this year with you whilst enjoying the sun, sand, and waves. Thank you for being a sounding board when I have moments of word vomit. Cheers to more games of rummy on the couch in 2023!

I’m thankful and grateful for Ephrata Performing Arts Center and all those I’ve met and had the pleasure of working with over the years. It is so special to me that I have access to a theater so close to home where the feeling of those around you is family. It is a safe place where I can be myself and find joy in the smiles that I see on the patrons that walk through the doors. Even with no longer performing on the stage under the lights, I have enjoyed house managing and bartending more than words can express. Being able to learn more about those that come to the theater, have conversations with them, and make them a drink is just the bees’ knees. I’m looking forward to hopefully having the opportunity to do it again in 2023!

I’m thankful and grateful for my partner-in-crime, Jamie. Her and I have taken on the task of house managing and bartending at EPAC and we couldn’t be more in tune with each other. We know what the other needs and we communicate so well that it has made the first year of experimenting with this position so smooth and easy. She gets me. She makes me laugh. She listens. She rocks. She brings me back down to Earth when I’m having moments of panic, stress, and freak outs. We really are the dream team duo.

I’m thankful and grateful for Hank Angus and those from the Hope Express family that believed in me and helped me to uncover the definition of “being worthy” and keeping my passion with finding a cure for pediatric cancer alive. The kindness and generosity of everyone involved with this organization is immeasurable and I only pray that I can continue to strive and make a difference each day with sharing love and hope with everyone around me and igniting a fire within them to make positive change.

I’m thankful and grateful for the late Pat Kautter who was a true pioneer in the theater world. I was thankful to work with her on a few different shows in multiple capacities at the Ephrata Performing Arts Center. She was always the “theater mom” who encouraged me not to give up, be true to my identity, and give each moment 110%…even if it meant smiling as I tried to fake tap dance!

I’m thankful and grateful for my Grandma Neidermyer who left us back in 2006. More than a decade later, it still feels like yesterday when I was huddled around the bed witnessing your last breaths on this earth with all of the family crying tears of pain. I wasn’t ready for you to leave. Your gentle smile is one that is imprinted in my mind and your presence is one I feel from above, especially in moments when I’m struggling. Each day, I wake up and look at the very last picture we got together at the 2005 high school holiday concert that sits on my dresser. It was such a surprise to see you after the show and the smiles on both of our faces in this image are true joy. A moment I will never forget as long as I live.

I’m thankful and grateful for my online health/life coach, Daniel Buckley. He seems to have come into my life at just the right moment. We have been working together now for about 4 years. He always is encouraging and motivating during his check-ins with me to make sure that I’m staying on track with my food logging and daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly commitments and goals that I have created for myself. He has the best smile and the energy that exudes from his voice is refreshing and invigorating. We’ve had the opportunity this year to have some challenging conversations and uncover more about Mr. Sunshine which has been extremely wonderful. He is always one of my biggest cheerleaders in making sure that I am giving myself to recharge and fill my own cup.

I thankful and grateful for all the jocks and straight boys who got a kick out of making fun of me during the years of my childhood. Because of you, I learned to grow thick skin and realize that I shouldn’t give TWO HOOTS about what others think about me or my sexuality. And even though there are moments (mind you in today’s society…the 21ST CENTURY), that I still get stared at or name called, I often find it a bit more tolerable for me to move on and ignore it because of the harsh words that you threw at me growing up.

I’m thankful and grateful for Pastor Angie and my church family. Pastor Angie has heard it all already from me in the short time I’ve known her and she always has special guidance and wisdom to offer…and a cup of coffee too! She has been thrown quite the task of leading our faith community during such a challenging time and she done more than any of us would have ever expected. Her tenacity and strength is unparallel to anyone I’ve ever met, especially at times when she is going through some personal struggles. She has definitely had her share of personal struggles this year, but she has never let that falter in her care and concern of those she leads at St. Paul Penryn. She puts up with my crazy ideas, shiny ball syndrome of jumping from one topic to another in conversation, and the mile a minute spitball of words I offer to her on the daily. We have been able to work so well together, and I always look forward to worship on Sunday mornings because we get to share our love and passion with those that fill the pews. She is an incredible mom, Pastor, friend, leader, and everything in between. And, in case you need a new community to worship with or feel fulfilled and included, we welcome ALL, so check us out.

I’m thankful and grateful for my roommate, Derrick. He has been with since the end of March and is always willing to do whatever is needed around Sunshine Cottage. He has been able to provide a feeling of safety with his presence. He has brought new life and plants into the cottage and always seems to be cooking up something delicious on the grill which is an added perk! Get ready for the winter season because it might mean some snow shoveling for you! Ha!

I’m thankful and grateful for Handsome Jed. Even though we have only been friends for a few years, I feel like he has been a friend forever. He is warm, kind, compassionate, and every adjective in between. He challenges me, holds me accountable, and supports all of my endeavors. He is always the first person to offer a helping hand no matter what the circumstance. Even if he is having a crappy day or week, he is always checking in to make sure those that he cares and loves are ok. He is a blessing to everyone he encounters, and I couldn’t be more thankful for the fact that he is part of my Lancaster family. He is also the person who can make me giggle uncontrollably with his Snapchat messages. Looking forward to more fun moments and hopefully some more game nights and hikes in 2023!

I’m thankful and grateful for all my blog post supporters who continue to come back week after week. I have thoroughly enjoyed writing content for you all over these past 4 years and I couldn’t be more humbled by your support, love, and kindness.

I’m thankful and grateful for the furry friends in my life, Ginger (Mama and Papa Welliver’s doggie) and Porky (Jed and Devin’s doggie). Both are loving creatures that just make any stress I’m feeling go away with their cuddles and kisses.

I’m thankful and grateful for the individuals that I met at my first ever group art therapy session last week. It was something I had never done and it was beautiful for me to experience. The vulnerability of everyone in the room was so special. I am very much looking forward to going back again in the future.

I’m thankful and grateful for my bestie, Devin. I know that I’ve said it many times before, but I’m so thankful that you were brought into my life a mere 8 years ago through what is one of the worst phone apps to this day. Our friendship has only gotten stronger. You are one individual that I trust completely, which is hard for me to do these days because of the past I have experienced. Thank you for being a constant in my life amongst a world of change. Thank you for adding extra letters in your texts, never getting mad if I’m having reactive moments of emotion over aspects of my life, allowing me to word vomit in whatever capacity needed, knowing that sometimes all I need is a night of rummy playing to recharge, and for always being able to bring a smile to my face no matter what the situation. These are priceless things that I cherish greatly (more than you can ever imagine). I appreciate that each of us can tell when something is off because our texts end up being direct with no extra letters–imagine that. Thank you for bringing your expertise and knowledge of interior design to the Sunshine Cottage this year! It has been an absolute pleasure being able to see you make updates and transform the living space I call home with your creativity and passion. Cheers to the many more memories that 2023 holds in store include me beating you at Wordle many times. All kidding aside, I hope you realize how vital of a role you play in Mr. Sunshine’s daily grind.

I’m thankful and grateful for everyone in life that has been able to look past the walls of judgment our society has built up to realize that I, along with my fellow LGBT brothers and sisters, are human beings full of love to give. We are no different than you. Just because we love someone of the same sex doesn’t mean that we should be called inappropriate names, stared at constantly, or judged because we want to be happy. Quite frankly, I’ve been called the word ‘faggot’ enough in my life. I want anyone in the world who is struggling with their sexuality to know that it will be OK. I know that it can be scary territory to navigate, but I assure you that you are NEVER ALONE. There will always be people around to wrap warmth and support around you in the moments of extreme darkness when you want to give up. And after seeing the events of the mass shooting in Colorado, it is clear that we need to do better and support each other and help other’s open their eyes to the fact that love is love is love.

Well folks, that is all I’ve got for you.

This week, make sure the thankfulness part of the holiday takes the front row seat ahead of the cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes.

Because another helping of both gratefulness and thankfulness never hurt anyone. And it is something we should be doing today, tomorrow, and each day after.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

Happy Monday, folks!

At the current moment, I’m wrapped in a blanket since Mother Nature decided to give us some actual fall weather that felt brisk and chilly.

Last week, I literally had the AC on and this week, I’m shivering in my bones because of the frigidness.

Talk about cray cray craziness.

BRRRR!

The other day, when I was on Facebook, the below photo came up on my feed as a memory from the days when I lived in Lititz.

Extra points for whomever can tell me what classic game show this is from.

That’s right.

Brownie points if you answered Wheel of Fortune.

Which, by the way, I have auditioned for more than a dozen times and I’m still waiting for my big break.

But I digress.

Let’s get down to business.

Yesterday, at church, I got to have fun with the children’s sermon describing to the kids (with an exciting game of charades) as we talked about fears.

As I acted out different fears (plane, heights, and snakes), the kids answered with enthusiasm, and it made me smile.

We talked about how we can’t let our fears overtake us from living the life we were born to live with love and passion.

After finishing out the children’s time of the service, Pastor Angie went on to address the congregation and discussed finding beauty and new beginnings from tragedy…from the “crumbling of our temples.”

What are the temples that have crumbled in your life recently that you must overcome the fear to find beauty and new beginnings with?

As the puzzle board picture stated early, “Sink or Swim.”

Are you sinking from the fear in your life or are you choosing to swim and fight it?

A few weeks ago, if you were to ask me how life was going, I would’ve definitely told you that I was SINKING.

I was in a rutt of negative thoughts, energy, and just everything seemed to be so BLAH.

Fast forward to just a week and a half ago, and I am finally doing some SWIMMING.

And speaking of swimming, swim trunks by Chubbies are my FAVE.

Sorry…sidetracked.

Do I have fears in my life?

Yes.

Are there things that I fear which are happening this coming week?

Yes.

The difference is that I have the power to change my attitude with how I respond and react to those moments with swimming rather than allow them to sink me.

I’ve started to realize that I can’t change people, but that I can do as much as possible to try and create a positive atmosphere around me that is rejuvenating, supportive, and passionate full of love and kindness.

And I’ve also realized that it is not a crime to take care of me with whatever I need to do for myself to keep swimming.

And with how crazy the world is and the shit that is happening in it, you should also not feel guilty to take care of YOU.

Do what you need to do to keep swimming.

Because sinking shouldn’t be an option.

And if it is, reach out for help.

Don’t let fear overtake everything in your life.

Are you sinking?

OR

Are you swimming?

The choice is yours.

Let’s take it stroke by stroke together.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

Happy Monday, folks!

It is hard to believe that we are officially in November. That means that talk about mashed potatoes, corn, turkey, cranberry sauce Christmas trees, Black Friday deals, and everything else that comes with the Thanksgiving, Christmas, and all other holidays that get celebrated between now and the end of the year are just around the corner.

The remainder of 2022 is full speed ahead.

I hope you are ready to buckle up your seat belt.

Well, let’s get down to business.

I would say grab your blanket to cuddle up with as you read these words; however, with the warm weather that has felt like Summer these past days, I would say grab your pina colada might be a better fit.

The past couple of months, specifically the last couple of weeks, I have been a negative Nancy.

I have had a toxic energy of cynicism that has engulfed my mind, daily life, and just caused me to be a not-so-joyful individual to be around.

So, if you were someone that experienced that pessimistic, gloomy energy I was exuding–I greatly apologize.

It is definitely true that if you have a positive energy about yourself, you will attract positive energy too.

The same thing happens with negative energy.

As the saying goes:

“Your vibe attracts your tribe.”

I’m not going to lie…I have been extremely anxious about the financial subject matter that will be happening at a congregational meeting on November 20th that I will be leading for our faith community. It has been looming over my head like a gray cloud and I’ve let it consume my feelings and life that it caused negativity in so many other areas of life.

I found out last Monday that I will be losing my part-time job that I’ve had since 2018 and while I definitely let the initial panic create negative energy in my life, I was quick to turn around the feelings to more of a silver-lining mentality.

This past Wednesday I had a Zoom call with my Life Coach, Daniel. It felt like a much-needed therapy session.

In fact, it was the kick in the ass that I didn’t realize I needed until it was happening.

We talked about the negative energy I had been experiencing, the toxicity that social media makes me feel, and how I think the first part of 2023 needs to be about me filling up my cup, learning to love myself, and taking time to find the positive joy in my life before trying to help other’s find it with another Mr. Sunshine project.

Daniel challenged me to give him adjectives about how my best friend would describe me.

From there, we took some of those adjectives and channeled them into daily affirmations that I write in my journal at the start of every morning.

I am confident.

I am dependable.

I am loyal.

I am trustworthy.

I am kind.

I am strong.

I am beautiful.

I am loving.

My name is JP Welliver and I am worthy of everything I desire.

Daniel also had me think about a day in my life where I had felt extremely happy and joyful.

I told him that day was when I came out of the closet because a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders and my authentic self could finally be free.

Here are just a few other places I found happiness and sunshine this week:

1. I found joy when a co-worker of mine that had been on maternity leave came back into this office this week. Her and I always got along so well and having her back has confirmed that feeling even more so than before.
2. I found joy in being able to catch up with my friend Marissa whom I haven’t been able to see in over a month. Her and I always have weekly sleepovers complete with conversations and Amazing Race episodes (and the occasional horror movie). This last one also included some tasty margaritas too!
3. I got to volunteer with some of my full-time coworkers from Webstaurantstore doing clean up at the Jaycee Community Park in Strasburg…and let’s also just throw in that I went to the wrong park at first.
4. I found joy in my friend Karey singing at our faith community’s church service on Sunday and the pews being filled with so many people.

Well, folks.

That’s all I’ve got for you.

Be gentle with yourself.

And lose the negative energy in your life and turn it into something positive.

Create your own affirmations of joy.

Our world could use some of that extra sunshine.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

Happy Monday, folks!

Well, actually…Happy Halloween!

There are no trick or treats here this week I’m afraid.

I was more of a Halloween fan when I was in college, but now, as a thirty-five-year-old, I’m just not really into it anymore.

Sorry not sorry.

This past week has been an exhausting one, so that means no real official blog post for you.

That is not a TRICK.

Forgive me.

Come back next week for some all-new words to read.

And, in the meantime, TREAT yourself to something sweet.

Oh…and here is a picture of me and a pumpkin for you to enjoy from my college days.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

Happy Monday, folks!

We are almost to the end of October which is literally insane to think about.

I feel like it was just yesterday when we were watching the ball drop in Times Square signifying the start of 2022.

And here we are, ready to say hello to another new year after we experience the full speed ahead mentality of the next two months.

Y’all better buckle up your seat belts.

And yes, I just did say y’all.

Oh…this is post number 190.

In case you care or were wondering.

Let’s get down to business.

Encanto is playing in the background for the second time since the weekend started.

My mind is racing.

It has been racing for quite some time.

As a 35-year-old, there are things that I experience on the daily that make me feel anxious and worried.

What act of violence to hurt others will happen next in our world?

Will I have enough money to get through the month and pay the bills?

Can I manage to take on a project in the new year to try and change the world?

How can I support others around me to help them with their specific needs?

How can I support myself in life without feeling selfish?

How can I teach others to be kind in their daily routine?

These are questions that are deep and can make my thoughts go down a rabbit hole without any clear answer or end in sight.

This video is one that my life coach, Daniel shared with me back in July of this year and it is something I constantly struggle with, so I share it with you below.

Putting myself first is not something that is easy for me, especially when I consider myself someone who thrives on the joy that I get from helping others.

But how can I continue to be Mr. Sunshine for others in my life in the world if I can’t be Mr. Sunshine for myself?

If I’m not filling my OWN CUP, how can I possibly help the cup of others to overflow with joy?

Finding motivation to get out of the warm covers in the morning has been more of a challenge recently, but I do it.

And I get the blood pumping by doing some push-ups, squats, and sit ups.

I’ve found it much more difficult recently to not take things personally. I seem to be at a heightened emotional state constantly because of everything that is happening in life.

I fear constantly that I will fail the people in my life by either saying no or not executing something well enough that it creates more issues.

I work my ass off putting in hours at four different jobs to make ends meet and quite frankly, there are times when I don’t want to communicate with anyone and want to sit in silence—with my phone on DND and play The Golden Girls or Encanto in the background.

When I have to emerge as a leader in the church where talk about money can bring up negative feelings or questions about the future, I shut down.

When I hear others talk about their fabulous trips or the latest and greatest thing that they bought for their lives, I become quiet because I don’t just have the ability to do that. I have to plan ahead and work hard constantly to make ends meet or just give myself a little splurge on that little special something. It isn’t something that can just happen with the snap of my fingers, so if you get to have that lifestyle just realize that not everyone can live that reality.

When I think about anything related to the world of dating or sexual relations, I just panic because most experiences with boys since the college years have been traumatizing to me in their own unique way…and well…believe or not…the self-conscious feelings start to take over.

So, what am I getting at?

If I seem off, more quiet than normal, non-communicative, or not the bundle of sunshiny energy you are used to seeing from me, please just know that is my way of processing the thing that we call life.

It is one of the ways I fill my cup with self-love.

I grow quiet, I like to be alone in solitude watching my favorite TV show/or movie, and I like to just be.

This week, practice self-love in a way that both rejuvenates YOU and fills YOUR cup with the energy you need to keep pushing forward in this crazy world.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

Happy Monday, folks!

Here we are! Another week of October has officially begun!

And I will admit that this past week in Lancaster, PA has felt unusually mild for Fall weather. It almost felt like it was summer again with the sunshine.

I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for the sweater weather.

I just want to walk out the front door early in the morning bundled up in a sweatshirt.

Anyhoo, let’s get on to this week’s post, shall we?!

As I write these words for you, I find myself shutting my eyes because I’m exhausted.

EXHAUSTED.

A word that has seemed to creep into the vocabulary of many of us more often than not these days.

Anyone else relate to this feeling?

I can’t be the only one.

This past week has been filled with news from different facets that have all affected my mentality in a negative way.

And because of those negative feelings that have struck me in the face head on, I have found it even more crucial and important to find sunshine and joy in my life.

And when I find those moments of sunshine and joy, I make sure to soak it in.

This past week, I found sunshine and joy in the following:

1. The smiles of the kids as Pastor Angie and I did a children’s message during our faith community’s worship service.
2. The energy of the INCREDIBLE voices of the cast of The Color Purple at The Ephrata Performing Arts Center which runs through October 29th. You should experience it too. Buy tickets at epactheatre.org. Do it now. Like. Seriously. It is SO good.
3. Cuddling with a blanket and bag of berry flavored lifesavers while the fall breeze came through the windows and a romantic comedy played in the background.
4. The heart of kindness I felt in the face of a young child who put up their hands in a stop motion to make sure I avoided the squirrel that was in the middle of the parking lot as I went to park my car.
5. The laughter I felt with my coworkers when we experienced picking up the wrong drink from a local Starbucks establishment in what could only be considered and described as a classic comedy of error.
6. The creativity of Mackenzie as she built her Legos and Ellie’s smile as I held her in my arms jumping up and down as we walked throughout the house.
7. The immense amount of singing and smiles on the faces of the crowd at the 55 and over community that I had the extreme pleasure and opportunity to travel to and accompany some friends on the piano as they sang hits from Broadway shows.

The mental health of our world is declining.

And it seems to be declining at an extremely alarming rate.

And that has made the need to find joy and sunshine in life even more crucial.

Where have you found joy and sunshine in this past week?

Where will you find the joy and sunshine this week?

Are you being kind to the others in your life around you?

Find the joy.

Find the sunshine.

And take care of YOU.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

Good morning and happy Monday folks!

Here we are entering the second week of October already!

Like, how is that even possible?

Thanksgiving and Christmas are literally tomorrow.

Are you ready?

Because I’m not.

These days, I feel like I can’t open my phone, laptop, or any other device to read the news or keep up to date with what is happening in the world without becoming overly anxious, sad, or disheartened by what is happening.

I can’t imagine I’m the only one who feels this way.

Anyhoo, let’s get down to business.

Shall we?

Cuddle up in your blanket and grab your favorite warm beverage because here we go!

This past Saturday, I got to experience Kinky Boots at the Fulton Theater in Lancaster with my bestie, Devin.

This was the second time we had seen the show because back in 2017 when I turned 30, we saw the show on Broadway.

I can honestly that I think I enjoyed both productions equally (maybe the Broadway one a tad bit more); however, the costumes, dancing, sets, and colors were fabulous.

But above all of those things, the most important quality to me was the message that continues to resonate with me as an openly gay man in the 2022 world around us.

At the end of the show, the cast comes together to sing a song called Just Be” (link below) and they talk about 6 steps that every individual in this world should attempt to become a more loving place for ALL.

Pursue the truth.

Learn something new.

Accept yourself and you’ll accept others too.

Let love shine.

Let pride be your guide.

You can change the world when you change your mind.

How true all of these words above are.

I hope and pray that each and every one of you will strive to live these out in your life today, tomorrow, and all days after.

Our world needs more love, color, and it is up to you and me to be more colorful.

Fruity pebbles aren’t the only thing in this world that can be colorful.

I challenge you to be colorful and to lead each day with love.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

Happy Monday, everyone!

And happy October too!

Can you believe that we are officially into the tenth month of the year?!

Say WHAT?!

Yesterday, I had the extreme pleasure of being able to speak as part of Lititz Chooses Love’s Coming Out Festival.

It was beautiful.

I share those words with you now.

Hi everyone! It is quite an honor to be here today surrounded by so many wonderful, loving, and supportive individuals! 

It is an extremely humbling opportunity for me to share a few words with you that I hope will bring encouragement and fill you with hope. 

For those who may not know, my name is JP Welliver and I am an extremely proud gay man who has been out of the closet since 2005–the junior year of my high school career. 

And while the experience of coming out of the closet was one that lifted an incredibly huge weight off my shoulders and while I was supported (and continue to be supported) by extremely loving parents, family, and friends–I know that is not a reality for everyone.

The year is 2022 and people continue to be chastised, judged, treated unfairly, beaten, abused, marginalized.

Individuals who identify in the LGTBQ+ community and embrace love for all can’t even walk around in public holding hands without being stared at or given verbal abuse. 

And that breaks my heart. 

And it should break yours as well. 

When I began to write these words a few weeks ago, I tried to think about things in life that bring me joy. 

And I landed on the rainbow. 

The rainbow. 

A symbol that is intensely joyful that when it transforms the sky with its thin band of beautiful colors, it stops crowds of people in their tracks…

…grabbing their photo to capture the moment and experience the magic and beauty of its majestic colors. 

Just thinking about a rainbow image makes me smile.

The rainbow is something that can bring a sense of energy and enthusiasm that unites crusaders of LGBTQ+ activism under a banner of activism with a feeling of joy. The rainbow welcomes outsiders and unites all in a common cause. 

I want to take a moment to share reflections with those out there struggling with their identity and sexuality. Always be true to yourself and never sacrifice anything for what you feel in your heart. Know that you are not alone and that there will always be people around to wrap you in love and warmth when the world seems cold and closes in with darkness. Find your support system. They are out there and are ready to love and support you in life’s toughest moment of weakness.

I want to take a moment to share some reflections to those who view me and my fellow LGTBQ+ community as different. I hope that you will one day be able to look past the walls of judgement that you have built up and realize that we are no different than you. And while we may identify with feelings for those of the same sex, we are still human beings full of love and pride.   

I encourage all of you to celebrate the rainbow and the LGTBQ+ community and to extend a hand to all in this world by spreading love and kindness.  Not just this month, but every month of the year. Do it today, tomorrow, and each day after. 

There may be days in my life left on this Earth that I (along with some of you here today) get bullied, called faggot or other derogatory terms, or struggle with the thoughts of hurting yourself. Hate, prejudice, and bigotry are still very much alive in our Country.

And if you are someone or happen to know someone who thinks these entities do not exist, I would kindly ask you to look around you or when you find yourself in the comfort of your home later this evening to look out the window. 

And as you gaze out that window, I ask you to look at the world around you and realize that it is not perfect and far from it.

And after looking out the window and at the world, go look at yourself in the mirror.

And as you look at yourself in the mirror, take a moment to ask yourself this question:

“Am I enabling the problem or helping to end it.”

While I realize that some of you have never experienced a moment of bigotry, prejudice, or hate (and might never experience one), I need you to understand that it still exists.

Very much so.

For so many people from all different walks of life…not just those who identify as part of the LGTBQ+ community.

And it is a reality that I have lived in these 35 years of life more than once. More times that can be counted on your fingers and toes combined.

Do you ever walk out of your house in fear that you might get hurt because of the person you are and people you love? 

Do you ever think that you will be discriminated against because of the people you love? 

Do you ever think that you will be made fun of or bullied because of who you are?

These are all questions that I have (and continue to) answer ‘yes’ to on the daily.

And while I hope and pray that we will eventually live in a world where none of this hatred and prejudice exist, I sincerely hope and pray that you will do your best to show love and kindness to everyone you meet and to help bring an end to discrimination and all the elements of hatred that come along with it.

But I do know this. I am a believer in sharing love and kindness to everyone regardless of social status, ethnicity, religion, skin color, or sexual orientation. 

I fight for what I believe in.

Every morning, I wake up and look in the mirror and repeat the below mantra to myself:

I am loved. I am worthy. I am colorful.

I stand before you in this very moment with great pride in my true colors and can’t wait to continue sharing with the world who I am and what I’m about. 

We need to stop the hating, the judgments, the bullying, and work together as one to break down the walls of hate that have paralyzed our society with the belief that the LGTBQ+ community is different. This world needs more love.

The events that have unfolded and continue to unfold in the world around us are clear examples that we are in need of so much more love and kindness.

Where are the open arms of love that we should be extending to ALL humans regardless of the gender of the humans they love? 

When will the hating stop? 

When will the violence end? 

When are we going to wake up as a human race and realize that people who love the same sex are no different than anyone else? 

When is the world going to realize that love is love is love?

And even when life isn’t a rainbow, I’m a proud one that will continue to be the symbol of joy to puncture the despair around us and send up flag signaling hope to all. 

Let’s continue to be those flags of hope together. 

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

Monday greetings, folks!

Or at least I think it is Monday…can someone confirm?

Oh, and happy Fall too!

I’m not going to lie…writing this week’s blog post was a challenge.

Like…writer’s block kicked in.

There are weeks when I know exactly what I’m going to write about and the words flow on the screen as I type furiously on the laptop.

And there are weeks when I literally stare at the screen and can’t think of the words to share with you.

Well, it was one of those weeks.

I spent some of the Sunday afternoon driving around in my car trying to find inspiration.

I stopped in at my full-time job’s office and sat at my desk thinking inspiration would magically come to me.

I walked around the office building doing laps several times hoping the words would start spilling from my mind to my fingers.

Nothing.

And, here it is, 10:31pm on a Sunday evening, and I’m lying on my bed with my laptop currently writing what you are reading.

And that was after staring at the screen for 30 minutes as the cursor flashed in front of my face.

So, let’s get on with it.

I won’t keep you long.

Earlier today when I was driving around in my car, I started to cry.

It was impossible to hold back the tears though I tried to keep them from flowing down my cheeks.

Just last week I was crying with Pastor Angie in her office…and here I was…crying again uncontrollably in the privacy of my car with the tunes playing from my phone as the sky around me started to become dark with storm clouds.

And I can honestly say that I had no idea what I was crying about.

It was like a combination moment of both feeling lost in the world while also feeling disheartened by its events.

And after driving around for about 45 minutes, I saw the sun ever so slightly peak through above me.

It was beautiful.

It was like God and the world telling me to pause…inhale…exhale.

Pause.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Let go of the negative shit and move on.

And with the letting go, make sure to take moments to find comfort in the plain and simple.

Take that extra scoop of ice cream from the carton.

Embrace squeezing the pillow on the nights when you feel scared.

Smile at the sunshine in the sky.

Have that extra cocktail with your friends at the bar and stay out past your bedtime.

Embrace the peace and darkness of your bedroom (or other room) and sit with your eyes closes for 5 minutes.

Enjoy the sensation of soap cleaning your hands as you lather away the germs from life.

Wrap yourself tighter in favorite blanket that offers security from all the insecurities.

Stand in a hot shower for an extra minute as you breathe out the toxicity of whatever it is that is grappling your mind.

Smell that fresh bouquet of flowers from the side-road stands you pass on your drive to work.

Take a drive in the Countryside with no agenda or time constraints.

Cry.

Plain and simple.

I hope that each of you will take just a few moments to find comfort in the plain and simple of life.

Today, tomorrow, and each day after.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!