Would You Like To…

Well, grab me a box of Skittles and pinch my cheeks! You are back for my second week! (And that rhymed…what are the chances?! I didn’t even try that!) I’m super stoked that you’ve decided to come along for the ride and follow my writings as I continue to expand this blog.

This week? Well, you are in luck! We are going to talk about those two words that we all know and love…SO much. And…no, it’s NOT ice cream or hot dogs!

ONLINE DATING. (And cue dramatic horror music in the background as my jaw drops to the floor much like the image of Kevin as he looks in the mirror after putting on after shave in Home Alone).

This is something that has always given me anxiety, and quite frankly, I’ve never been a fan of it. Why, you ask? Well, with being a gay man in Lancaster County, we’ve got slim pickings to begin with, so like BYEEEEEEE.

There seem to be a million different dating sites and apps these days–OKCupid, EHarmony, Match.com, Plenty of Fish, Tinder, bacon and eggs–oh wait…that’s just some of my favorite breakfast foods. Hey now! Oh, and before I move on…make sure you follow me on Instagram @mrsunshine827 if you aren’t already. Kthanks.

One of the many lessons that I’ve learned in my 31 years on this Earth is to take chances, go for it, and literally not give two hoots about what people think. Well…there are sometimes when you should give a hoot about what other people think, but not in this case that I’m about to describe.

Wait…what’s that now? You want an illustration about how I took a chance and didn’t give a hoot about what someone else thought? Well, goodness gracious! I thought you would never ask!

Flashback to my college sophomore year when I was taking ECON02 during my Spring semester. Class took place in the Forum Building, which was a huge room of stadium seating that sat approximately 350 people. I was never a huge fan of this class, but one day I happened to spot a boy from across the way that I found to be quite cute. I could barely pay attention to what I was learning because I felt like my eyes were always glancing over to where he sat. But like, can you say creeper much?! Listen…don’t judge me…yet.

One day, I left class and made it a priority to find out who this guy was. So, I took to one of the computer labs and began to start searching Facebook. And what do you know? Low and behold, after about 30 minutes of searching, I found him! DING! DING! For the win!

Yeah, I was feeling pretty confident.

The next step? Remember when I said earlier about taking chances and not giving a hoot about what others think? Yeah, well, here we go. Buckle up and get ready to judge me…BIG time.

I took to Facebook messenger (obvi) and messaged the boy introducing myself and mentioning that I saw him sitting in the back of my ECON02 class. Pretty straight forward and normal. Fast forward when the boy replied and we exchanged a few other messages about the class and how much we disliked it. Things are going pretty well, right? You would think so until Mr. Sunshine decides to be REAL BOLD and go in the for the kill with the below line…

“If you want to sometime, I would really like to get to know you in a comfortable, relaxed setting.”

Are you kidding me? Who even says anything like that? Not only does it sound dirty, but it’s like…like…I don’t even know what it is. EMBARRASSING. Insert face planting emoji from your Iphone times a million right here.

Needless to say, the boy happened to know the roommate I was living with at the time and politely asked her for advice on how to tell me that he wasn’t gay.

I mean…I guess it could’ve been worse.

To this day, that line I used still cracks me up because I can’t believe that I would EVER use such a phrase with anyone regardless of how well I know them. Looking back, that was literally 0 to 60 in like 5 seconds. CRAY.

Always be true to yourself and go with your gut. Just maybe try to steer away from phrases that use “comfortable, relaxed setting” unless you happen to be describing the furniture in the new living room as part of a prize you could win on The Price is Right.

So yeah…Mr. Sunshine and online dating…not my strong suit, but here are a few things that I’ve learned from the experience:

1). Always be true to yourself no matter what.

2). Go with your GUT.

3). Don’t give a hoot about what others think.

4). Try not to use the phrase “comfortable, relaxed setting” unless absolutely necessary.

Follow me on Instagram @mrshine827

To collab with me, questions, or feedback email mrsunshine827@gmail.com!

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!