But First…Let Me Love Myself.

It’s currently 11:43pm, which means it is the peak time for Mr. Sunshine blog writing. 

Are you ready? 

Let’s take a moment to be honest with ourselves. 

At some point in our lives, we’ve all dreamed of our lives being a romantic comedy.

I mean…who doesn’t want Zac Efron, Ryan Reynolds, or Bradley Cooper to suddenly step in your life and sweep you off your feet with the highest degree of swooning possible?! 

Count me in. 

Sadly, as much as society pushes for us to believe by sticking it in our faces that life is its own romantic comedy or “like a box of chocolates”…it’s not. 

Well…not for me at least.

And this week we get to experience all the sweetness of little chocolate hearts, scents of fragrant roses, the cuteness of stuffed animals, sappy social media posts, and luxurious five star dinners as the world celebrates the Hallmark holiday acclaimed to be the day of love…more commonly known as Valentine’s Day. 

Excuse me while I go puke little chocolate hearts. (Shout out to my former college roommate Jolie who used to always use this phrase around this time of year.)

While I’m not one to celebrate or enjoy this holiday at all, there is one love that I’m very excited to share with you all today in my post. 

And that, my friends, is the love of myself and being single. 

This is something that I’ve often struggled with on the daily and even at age 31, it is still something that doesn’t come easy.

Why is this still a struggle for me? 

Let’s take a little trip down memory lane…

Growing up through the years in elementary school, middle school, and even high school I was the one who was poked fun at for being skinny. The one who was looked at as being different because I acted more feminine and enjoyed hanging out with girls more often than not. I was the one who enjoyed theater and music. I was the one who wanted to watch Wheel of Fortune or classic TV shows like I Love Lucy instead of sports or thriller movies that were considered to be “masculine.” 

I went through the days, weeks, and months of the school year learning to ignore the remarks from those that decided to pick on me, but I still have flashbacks every now and then of those moments that bring up extreme feelings of insecurity. 

When I came out of the closet in 11th grade, it was a huge moment for me in life that was greeted with joy and relief and released an energy of excitement and self-discovery inside my soul. To some people, it was a moment that was supported and loved whole-heartedly while for others, it was just another aspect of life that made it an easy target for being made fun of. 

I’ve been through the bullying. I’ve been through the name calling. I’ve been through the stares that people give because of being considered or viewed as “different.” 

These are the moments from my life that have helped me to become intentional about embracing my single status and learning to love myself.

For me, one of the greatest joys with being single is having the power to involve myself in things that make me feel fulfilled and happy on the inside. Whether it is working with customers to help their businesses grow bigger and better, helping fellow colleagues to improve their personal growth, running miles to raise funds for pediatric cancer, or working with 60 plus kids on the production of a classic Disney tale, my heart seems to constantly be overflowing with love and compassion to fuel my drive to push forward with the greatest of energy.

These days, more than ever, society tells us (or at least influences us) that we must have a partner by our side in order to be happy. It feels like a social stigma that is pushed on us from all different angles as we live out our daily lives. Whether it is that latest story line arc happening on TV’s most popular show, the plot from the hit movie currently playing at the movie theaters, or the damn advertisements for the next great romantic comedy on The Hallmark Channel, it just seems to be around every corner…something that we can’t escape from no matter how hard we try.

Currently, in my life I I don’t feel it necessary to have someone by my side to make myself feel “whole” or “complete.” I am my own person who gets to have control over my entire life–from setting the wake-up time on the alarm for those early mornings to determining my own bed time every single night. It’s glorious. And what’s even better is that I don’t have anyone around to judge me on those nights when I want to eat raw cookie dough from the container…that’s right…I do that. And I embrace it 150%.

Here are a few other things that I embrace 150% about myself…

1. I don’t like sleeping in sheets, so I will wrap myself in a blanket on top of my bed.

2. I enjoy sleeping on the couch more than anything.

3. I could watch the same episodes of The Golden Girls for the rest of my life and be incredibly content. 

4. I can listen to Katy Perry’s “Firework” on repeat for days and not get sick of it. 

5. I like to eat ice cream from the container, especially when I’m stressed. 

6. My love language is words of affirmation.

7. Social media is something that makes me jealous and blurs my judgment on the daily. 

8. I still struggle accepting compliments from others. 

9. I find washing dishes very therapeutic. 

10. My least favorite exercise at the gym is pushing the sled. 

11. My least favorite aisle to go down in the grocery store is the cereal aisle because there are too many choices. 

What are some aspects of my life thay help me embrace my self-love and single status?

1. I volunteer at EPAC doing a multitude of theater work including stage managing, acting, and music directing.

2. I decompress for at least 30 minutes each night whether it be watching The Golden Girls, reading, or coloring.

3. I work out with a personal trainer twice a week.

4. I involve myself in a cause that is close to my heart to share joy with others.

5. I embrace the principles of love and kindness and always look for way to display them.

Now, hit on the brakes and let’s take a quick U-turn! Hang on to your seat belts!

Are there moments in my life when I want to throw my phone at the wall and scream my head off because I see sappy photos of love birds all googly-eyed about their love for each other and perfect life with the hashtag of #blessed? 

Yes, absolutely. 

Will I be experiencing some of these moments this week on Thursday, February 14th?

Probably. 

Do I wish that Shawn Mendes would serenade me to sleep every night?!

DUH. Is that even a question? 

I don’t have the latest fashions. I don’t have the latest Iphone. I don’t have the biggest bank accounts. I don’t have the largest home. I don’t have the boyfriend to hug and say it’s going to be all better when I’ve had a crappy day.

And I’m OK with that. 

I came across the following quote a few weeks ago that has stuck with me ever since: 

“Single is not a status, it is a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.”

Amen. 

Embrace it. 

Love yourself.

The end. 

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!