The “F Word” And Its Lasting Effects.

Happy Monday, everyone!

Another month has started in the year of 2021!

Isn’t it crazy?! We are officially in the fifth month of the year, which means that once again, Christmas is like tomorrow.

But like, just kidding.

In all seriousness though, Summer is tomorrow.

Actually, it felt like Summer occurred this past week because Mother Nature blessed us with some mid 80 temperatures.

I sincerely hope that you were all able to enjoy some of those rays and Vitamin D!

Anyway, welcome to another serious post this week.

First off, I can’t begin to express the amount of extreme thankfulness and gratefulness that I have in my heart for every single comment, message, and text from last week’s post. It is incredibly overwhelming and humbling to see the amount of support that I have in this world and it makes me very sad to know that there are people in this world that are going through the same struggle who do not have that level of support system around them.

It has been one week since I was called fag while running on the back country roads of Lititz.

And while I continue to move forward with my life, I have to say that moment is going to be something that sticks with me for quite some time.

Actually, it is something that is probably going to stick with me for all of eternity.

It is not something that can just be brushed under the rug.

And if you think brushing it under the rug is a possibility, I will challenge you until Kingdom come, because you are not living a reality.

And now, I ask you three very important questions.

  1. Do you ever wake up in the morning and leave your house in fear?
  2. Have you ever had suicidal thoughts or thoughts of hurting yourself?
  3. Have you ever been made fun of or stared at because of the person you are?

And while some of you might have answered ‘yes’ to either none, one, or two of the questions above, I want you to know that I have answered ‘yes’ to all three questions throughout my 33 years on this Earth and continue to say ‘yes’ to these questions even as we live out our lives in the 21st century.

The year is 2021.


I live in the city of Lancaster and after last week’s incident, I have become so much more hyper-aware of my surroundings. I have a genuine fear now when I open the door to step foot outside because I, JP Welliver…Mr. Sunshine, could be the target of a hate crime or act of violence because of the person I am.

Because of the fact that I like men.

During my college days, I went through my share of thoughts about hurting myself and while I can say that those thoughts are not ones that have entered my mind since graduating back in 2010, there are people around me who have not been as lucky.

And that make me sad and emotional.

And it should make you emotional too because people are hurting/killing themselves because of who they are.

We as humans need to open up on our arms to EVERYONE regardless of who they are and offer our support and love because the word around us is f***ed up and terrifying.

Pardon my French.

People NEED us.

They NEED our love.

They NEED our kindness.

The fact that we continue to live in a world that judges us, stares at us, and mocks us because of the people we love is absolutely ridiculous and it is something that I struggle with because that was not how I was brought up to live my life.

I was taught to love all, support all, and be there for all.


No questions asked.

The moment of being called fag last week while running in my hometown where I was raised and always felt safe has made me waver and falter.

And as angry as I am at the individual who screamed that offensive language at me and as angry as I will always be, I still wish that individual a life of love and one that will allow them to open their eyes to the world of fabulous colors and diversity that lives among them.

My heart still hurts.

It always will.

And while I realize that not everyone in this world will be one who recognizes me with support because of the people I love and will always constantly try to knock me off the ladder, I will continue to do my best to be a worker of light and love throughout my daily life.

I can’t stress the entities of love and kindness enough.

I beg you as people who come back week after week to read my blog to really pause, think, and act on what is right.

Being an object of hate is something that can happen to anyone…at any given moment, including Mr. Sunshine.

Live and act with love.

Be intentional with your love and kindness to others.

And do not falter or let those around you make you stumble.

I appreciate each and every one of you for the constant support, love, and kindness that you show me day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year.

I will be on a blogging hiatus until June, so until then, please be well. And please share love and kindness intentionally.

Sprinkle sunshine always,