Mr. Sunshine Smiles

Well, folks. We are halfway through the month of June which means that Summer is just around the corner. I don’t know about you, but it certainly doesn’t feel like the season of outdoor grilling, pool swimming, and flip flops.

Well…at least it doesn’t feel like it quite yet. And I’m sure this quarantine has something to do with those thoughts.

Anyhoo, we are going to get right into this week’s post, so I hope your coffee has been brewed!

Here we go!

My name is JP Welliver.

I am gay.

I am proud.

I am love.

As many of you probably already know, June is National Gay Pride Month, and as an openly gay man living in this world, nothing saddens me more than knowing that we are still struggling for rights and continue to be viewed as “different” or “unfit” by a society that feeds upon hate and judgment.

It is 2020.

We are living in the 21st century. What gives? How can it be that we are still living in a world where we would rather hate with our words than love with our hearts? It is the million dollar question that I continue to try and answer each and every day as I live out life.

In Spring of 2005, my junior year of high school, I made the decision to come out to a few of my friends. And while it was a decision that weighed heavily on me day in and day out, it is one that I look back on with no regrets. And 14 year later, after being bullied, called inappropriate names including the term ‘faggot’, and struggling with thoughts of hurting myself and trying to figure out what I’m on this Earth for, I stand even stronger and prouder of who I am.

Today, I want to share a few reflections that I hope you will all take to heart and ponder as you go about your daily lives today, tomorrow, and each day after.

I want to thank my parents. While I know it was a struggle in the beginning to accept and we fought with differences, I couldn’t be more thankful for all of the unwavering support and true love you have continuously showed me throughout my life. You have raised me to fight for what I believe in, to never give up, and to show love and kindness to all. For that, I can’t repay you and having you by my side is the greatest gift I could ask for.

I want to thank my incredible and amazing friends who have been there through thick and thin since day one. I can’t even begin to imagine life without you all. You make the smiles, laughs, tears, hugs, and memories of each passing day extraordinary and worth living. Having a supportive team of individuals around me does wonders for the soul and it is something that I try to never take for granted. Each and every one of you is appreciated and loved so much. Each and every one of you has had some kind of impact in the evolution of Mr. Sunshine up to this point in my life. And for those who will continue to evolve with me in the future, I look forward to the days ahead with an unwavering optimistic energy.

I want to take a moment to share reflections with those out there struggling with their identity and sexuality. Always be true to yourself and never sacrifice anything for what you feel in your heart. Know that you are not alone and that there will always be people around to wrap you in love and warmth when the world seems cold and closes in with darkness.

I want to take a moment to share some reflections to those who view me and my fellow gay community as different. I hope that you will one day be able to look past the walls of judgement that you have built up and realize that we are no different than you. And while we may identify with feelings for those of the same sex, we are still human beings full of love and pride.

I encourage all of you to celebrate the rainbow and the gay community and to extend a hand to all in this world by spreading love and kindness. Not just this month, but every month of the year. Do it today, tomorrow, and each day after.

There may be days in my life left on this Earth that I get bullied, called faggot, or struggle with the thoughts of hurting myself—I don’t know what the future holds in store.

But I do know this. I am a believer in sharing love and kindness to everyone regardless of social status, ethnicity, religion, skin color, or sexual orientation.

I look for the good in others and work hard in finding ways to make those around me happier. I believe in happily every after and will not sacrifice my morals or values to find whatever that might be for me in life.

I fight for what I believe in.

I am happy.

I am positive.

I am spiritual.

I am joyful.

I am silly.

I am reactive.

I am emotional.

I am proud.

I am colorful.

I am Mr. Sunshine.

I am JP.

I am gay.

I stand before you in this very moment with great pride in my true colors and can’t wait to continue sharing with the world who I am and what I’m about.

I just started the process of working on a super, special, secret project that will hopefully help me to empower others in this world while being my authentic self. I’m super excited to share it with you and while I’m not 100% sure when it will exactly happen, I can only hope it will be very soon, so stay tuned! I CAN’T WAIT to share it with you!

We need to stop the hating, the judgments, the bullying, and work together as one to break down the walls of hate that have paralyzed our society with the belief that the gay community is different. This world needs more love.

The events that have unfolded and continue to unfold in the world around us are clear examples that we are in need of so much more love and kindness.

Where are the opens arms of love that we should be extending to ALL humans regardless of the gender of the humans they love?

When will the hating stop?

When will the violence end?

When are we going to wake up as a human race and realize that people who love the same sex are no different than anyone else?

When is the world going to realize that love is love is love?

My name is JP Welliver.

I am gay.

I am proud.

I am love.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

Well, folks. Here we are.

A new week. Another Monday.

As if quarantine, social distancing, and the pandemic weren’t enough.

In looking at the state of the world outside our doors, it is hard to not get a heavy heart. There is so much hatred, violence, prejudice, and division among all people regardless of political assosciation, social class, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, religion, or color of skin.

For me, it certainly makes trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel difficult some days. And I’m sure some of you are in the same boat.

With all that is happening around us, it is a great moment for each of us to sit back, hit the pause button, and reflect on what each of us can do individually to make a difference.

Each and every one of us has been given strengths and talents to make change, to be the light, and to help those around us in need.

In the coming weeks, take a moment to have the conversations that are uncomfortable with others in life about the events that have unfolded and are continuing to unfold in our world.

Listen.

Learn.

Educate.

Donate.

Help.

We each have been called to make a difference, so go out and DO.

Be the hope.

Be the love.

Be the light.

Be the change.

I have a lot of friends who come in all shapes and sizes. I have friends who like men, friends who like girls, friends who have a different color skin, friends who are of a different ethnic background, friends who have different religious backgrounds, friends from all different political affiliation and social class.

And while I can’t imagine what my friends of color have experienced for a long time in this Country, I can tell you that it is time for a change. Everyone in this country is worthy. Worthy of love. Worthy of kindness. Worthy of respect. Worthy of equality.

I’ve done a lot of researching and listening as I’ve tried to educate myself as best as possible on all that is happening.

Below are just a few of the resources that I’ve found to be helpful, especially with the fact that there is so much out there–it can be overwhelming.

In addition, I’ve included a clip from the Ephrata Performing Arts Center’s production of Ragtime that I had the extreme honor and privilege to be a part of. I feel it is a beautiful moment that should be watched by all in regards to what is being experienced around the world.

https://8cantwait.org/

https://blacklivesmatter.com/news/

The world needs us more than ever.

Isn’t this supposed to be a world where we have liberty and justice for ALL?

Be change.

Spark change.

Make your voice heard.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

The evening of Thursday, May 28th ended for me like most other nights always do. Lying on the couch with The Golden Girls on the TV in the background.

Little did I know that Friday morning would bring out the ugly cry in me.

8:15am.

My cell phone alarm played it’s lame chime as I reached my hand over to the coffee table in hopes of shutting it off without having to open my eyes.

I reluctantly couldn’t get the alarm to stop, so I forced my eyes open to hit the button to silence the phone.

But I noticed something on the screen notifying me that I had a text message…from my Mom. And we all know a text “early” in the morning from your Mom (well at least in my mind) means that there is bad news.

I opened the text and immediately dropped my phone on the floor.

“We are going to call vet as soon as they open to put Foxy down.”

These were certainly not the words that I was expecting to read on my Friday morning.

I ran upstairs, put some clothes on, and attempted to brush my teeth while my nose ran and tears streamed down my face.

I got in my car and started the drive to my parents.

I drove in silence with only the sound of my sniffles. I tried to hold back the tears, but it was no use. My eyes were getting blurry and my I kept forcing my right hand to brush off my face.

The drive seemed like it took forever. Once I arrived in my parents’ driveway, I turned the car off and sat in silence for a moment.

I took a deep breath, opened the door, and tried to mentally prepare myself for the moment I was about to experience…seeing Foxy Lady for the last time.

I walked to the back porch where I was greeted by my Dad, Ginger, and my Mom petting Foxy who had placed herself under the futon in a position that looked both comfortable and relaxed. Her back legs were sprawled out while her front paws were bent in what seemed like a tense position. Her mouth was drooling intensely which my mom was wiping up with a towel as she pet Foxy gently and whispering “it’s okay, Foxy.”

Foxy lifted her head ever so slightly to look at me with what seemed like the saddest puppy eyes. The slightest twinkle was still in them though. It was almost as if she was telling me that she was ready.

My heart broke.

I held back some tears in my eyes, sat down beside her, stayed in silence, and pet her fur with my hands.

I sat there…in a trance for what seemed like hours not wanting to grasp the reality that this was the end.

After an hour of struggling with the question of why pets can’t be with us forever, I finally went in for the final embrace.

I leaned in for one last hug with my Foxy Lady. I kissed her on the top of her forehead and whispered “thank you for the memories.” I held on tight not wanting to let go of her love that had been a faithful companion for the past 15 years.

I walked to my car in the driveway, closed the door, and began to cry uncontrollably.

I had not experienced saying goodbye to a pet since Allie, our beagle had to be put down, which we did my senior year of high school.

You would think as an older adult that saying goodbye would be an easier thing to do, but that was certainly not the case. Well, certainly not the case for me at least.

I’ve cried myself to sleep for the past three nights. It’s been over a decade since I’ve gone through the loss of a pet and having it happen at a time when the world is so upside down in all respects makes it even more difficult.

How do I even begin to sum up the past 15 years with a furry friend that remained faithful every single moment?

While it might seem like an impossible task, I’m certainly going to give it my best shot in a final letter to Foxy Lady.

My Foxy Lady,

It’s hard to believe that we’ve spent the last 15 years together. You became part of the family when I was a senior in high school! You’ve been around for more than half of my life! Isn’t that crazy?!

And having you by my side for all that time made it even more difficult to let go and say goodbye.

Would you believe me if I told you that I left the house on Friday morning with NO makeup on when Mom told me that it was time to say goodbye? Not many things in life can make me do that, so I hope that makes you feel even more special. Ha!

I remember how afraid of me you were (and men in general) when Mom and Dad first brought you home. One of the first memories I have of you was that you didn’t want to go to the bathroom outside for Mom and Dad. I was determined to stay outside and walk around with you on the leash until you went. And oh by gosh by golly, after what felt like an eternity, you did it! I was so proud and excited. Patience is a virtue and it paid off!

I can’t thank you enough for being my loyal compaion for the past 15 years. Even though you couldn’t jump on my bed as you got older, I will never forget the moments of you sleeping by my feet to keep me extra warm. I always felt so protected. You always were willing to be my cuddle buddy without question and were always the best partner in crime when I got to house sit for Mom and Dad when they would go away. I always enjoyed when you would pull up your bed beside the couch signaling to me that it was time to wind down and hit the hay. I always took that as your way of being subtle to tell me it was time for “lights out.”

Having the chance to spend some of your final moments with you was very special to me. I’m so incredibly thankful that I got to give you a final hug and kiss goodbye before you crossed over the rainbow bridge. You would think as a 32 year-old adult that saying goodbye would be easy peasy, but it was quite the opposite for me, especially because we’ve been through so much.

Would you believe that I’ve cried myself to sleep the past 3 nights on the couch? There’s not even a boy in my life that has gotten me to do that! I expect the nights of tears to continue for a bit of time until it sinks in that you are officially gone and that I won’t see you the next time I drop by Mom and Dad’s house.

You were truly the best companion and I’m glad we got to spend so many years together. You got to witness me in all my prime moments—the high school, college, and young adulting years. It’s like you watched me grow up!

Our moments together will always be so special to me, especially our last moments. They will live in a very special place of my heart forever and always.

I hope you get the opportunity to meet some new friends on the other side of the rainbow bridge, but please don’t ever forget me.

From now on, each time I lie down on the couch, I’ll think of you bringing your bed beside me and looking at me with that gleam in your eye—subtly telling me it’s time for lights out.

Thank you for the love, cuddles, and companionship over the years.

Thank you for making it so hard to say goodbye.

You’ll always be my Foxy Lady.

Love,
JP

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

Well…here we are…another Monday.

Another day in quarantine.

I sincerely hope that all of you are staying safe and healthy with all that is continuing to happen in the world.

And before I move on to this week’s post, I start off with the paragraph I continue to re-iterate each week:

My heart goes out to those who have passed away from this virus. My heart goes out to all of those who are currently suffering and fighting to get well. My heart goes out to everyone who has been directly and indirectly affected by this virus. My heart goes out to all people who are working the front lines to restore health and well-being to the world around us. My heart goes out to all of us who are working to navigate the unknown on the daily with feelings of anxiety and despair.

Well, it’s time to get on with this week’s post, which means grab your side-kick beverage and read on!

I know that every single one of us has probably had moments of stress, confusion, unknown, and every adjective in between throughout this quarantine process.

And this week…for some reason…it really came to a head and got to me. It was like an explosion of emotions that was bubbling up inside. The week was absolutely shitty in many ways, but just to name a few (besides just being stuck in quarantine) that got me all frustrated, anxious, sad, pissed off and basically every emotion, here is a short list:

-One of my customers at my full-time job shared with me when I called her this week that her husband passed away and I immediately filled up with emotion. I appreciate the customers I get to work with on the daily and work hard to build connections with them, so when a piece of information like this is shared with me, it is so hard for me to not to feel that emotion with the person even if it is through the media outlet of an email, chat, or phone call. It feel almost like they are part of my extended family so to speak.

-I learned this week that not only was the production of Frozen on Broadway that I bought tickets for to see in August was being cancelled, but that it was being closed permanently because of COVID-19. This was something that really made me sad because it was to be part of the annual trip I take with my bestie Devin to celebrate our birthdays. Even more so, it was something that I was really looking forward to as a “respite” and “release” to all the madness happening in the world.

-I had to refuse a new washer and dryer that I purchased at the end of April because I measured my door frame wrong. I was so frustrated that I had made an error in my measurements and got so upset and literally called my mom to yell and scream just because I had a moment of complete irrational craziness. She got the brunt of my frustration for no reason along with every curse word in the book. Needless to say it was not one of my proudest moments.

-The continuation of negative news, opinions, and articles that I see on every media outlet are disheartening, frustrating, and fill my soul with fear.

So, with all of these aspects that were throwing their darkness at me, you might be asking yourself, “How does Mr. Sunshine find the sunshine during these dark days?”

Well, I’m so glad you asked because I’m going to share just a few aspects of where I find/found my sunshine this week (and other weeks) that will hopefully help you also find that sunshine when you feel like the world is closing in and causing you to suffocate under the darkness.

Ready. Set. GO!

1. John Kransinski and Some Good News
-I’m not sure how I did not discover this until now, but a huge shout out to my college friend, John Schmidt for introducing this channel to me. If any of you (like me) are sick of the negative energy that is blasted on the news, then this is the channel for you. John gathers moments from all around the world to share positive news and energy and it is beautiful, rewarding, and even worthy of a few tears. Go check it out because you will not be disappointed.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOe_y6KKvS3PdIfb9q9pGug

2. Using Zoom to reconnect with my show choir family
-This past Wednesday, I got the opportunity to reconnect virtually with my Penn State Show Choir family, The Singing Lions. It was amazing and so wonderful in so many ways to see these individuals that were responsible for keeping me at Penn State. Throughout the entire call, my soul was filled with such joy. If you haven’t already done so, I would encourage each of you to reach out directly to someone that you have not communicated with in a long time to just check in, connect, and talk. Share love. Share support. It will make you feel so good on the inside and will be worth every single minute.

3. The Disney motivational video
-I have my coworker, Jenn Rudy to thank for this one. She reached out to share this video, which happened to be part of the curriculum she is currently using to teach her kids during quarantine at home. I loved every single moment and I would be lying to you if I said I didn’t shed a tear. It was prefect and incredibly relevant with the current times and resonated in so many ways for me. I hope it does for you as well.

4. The new Katy Perry song
-I’ve always been a Katy Perry fan and always will be. Loyalty is part of my personality, so it is something I take very seriously and something I’m very passionate about. Katy released this new song Friday and it has been on repeat since. The lyrics are empowering, positive, and remind us to never let anyone keep us from being ourselves. Enjoy.

5. Having a crucial conversation with someone special in your life
-While this type of conversation is one that I’ve never mastered or been good at, they are so beneficial and helpful in so many respects. It helps display full honesty, true vulnerability, and helps all involved truly understand each other and see all angles of a situation. The conversation was one that needed to be had and I truly believe in my heart it was for the best and will only build a stronger foundation of trust, friendship, support, and love for the future. I want to thank the person for calling me out on my actions that led to this moment and having the kindness to allow me the chance to explain my complete thoughts and feelings without any judgment.

I hope that some of you will be able to enjoy these above aspects that I’ve talked about in order to find some happiness or distraction from the negative happening in the world. I encourage you to take a few minutes of your day to not only experience them personally, but to share them with someone else in your life who you feel might benefit from them as well.

Until our paths meet again next week, please stay safe and healthy.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

Happy Monday, all!

We’ve made it through yet another week of quarantine AND snow flurries from Mother Nature because she seems to be extremely confused. And toward the end of this week it’s going to feel like Summer.

Like, seriously Mother Nature. I’m going to need you to make up your mind.

Kthanks. Mmmbyeee.

And before we get to this week’s post, I begin once again with the following PSA:

My heart goes out to those who have passed away from this virus. My heart goes out to all of those who are currently suffering and fighting to get well. My heart goes out to everyone who has been directly and indirectly affected by this virus. My heart goes out to all people who are working the front lines to restore health and well-being to the world around us. My heart goes out to all of us who are working to navigate the unknown on the daily with feelings of anxiety and despair.

The pandemic we are experiencing has definitely been challenging on so many levels too numerous to even begin to mention.

But one thing that has not faltered is the love of my Mama Welliver. So, this week I re-iterate just how much she means to me with a “repost” of my blog post from last year because it just says it all perfectly.

So, grab you trusty, go-to Monday morning beverage and cuddle up with your favorite blanket because here we go!

Monday greetings to you all!

I sincerely hope that the May flowers of the Spring have been keeping you smiling with their beautiful bursts of color and that their strong scents haven’t been too much of a nuisance for those pesky allergies!

This past weekend, we were able to celebrate the BIGGEST Hallmark Card holiday of all holidays…one could say it is the “mother” of all holidays!

That’s right! You guessed correctly!

MOTHER’S DAY!

And as you all continue to read today’s blog post, I’d just like to take a moment and wish all the mothers out there in the world–past, present, and future a very happy and belated by one day Mother’s Day…this also includes those mothers who are no longer with us. All of you are (and have been and continue to be) pioneers in this world with your support, love, and never-ending compassion. And we couldn’t be more thankful!

And…with that being said, I’d like to extend a HUGE happy Mother’s Day to the one and only, Mama Welliver! I’m not sure words can actually begin to express how much I appreciate and love her, but I sure as heck am going to do my best!

Where do I even start? Better yet, how do I possibly say it all? Maria Von Trapp in the The Sound of Music (which happens to be one of Mama Welliver’s favorites), tells us to start at the very beginning…so I will try to do just that!

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been super close with my mom. Back in the day of growing up a tiny little Mr. Sunshine, she did and still does it all! From packing my lunches for school (sometimes I secretly wish this still happened because I’m a terrible eater at times), coming into my room during the mornings to make sure my alarm did in fact wake me up and that I was on the go and moving, or giving me a big hug and saying “I love you” before stepping on to the school bus. It’s all part of the never-ending list of things that make Mama Welliver extra special.

And I don’t care what anyone says, getting a hug from a mom is the best feeling in the world…hands down.

During the olden days, when I was a wee little child, I remember getting so excited to go grocery shopping with her. I thought it was like the best thing since sliced bread. The tradition was a Thursday night trip to Weis Markets where we would go up and down the aisles grabbing the items needed while I pushed the cart, which proved to be hard to steer sometimes as it got both fuller and heavier. Side note: For those who don’t know, Mama Welliver is super organized, so she had a list of items all ready to go classified by the aisle number the items were in. And as luck should have it, we got to make our own little trip to the grocery store yesterday on Mother’s Day–something we haven’t done together in forever! And believe it or not, she still has her list organized by aisle!

No matter what we were doing, we always would have a great time–I’m the type of person that told Mama Welliver everything…and in some cases…too much. I still do to this day.

Just the other week, I wore vomited at the lunch table and what was Mama Welliver’s response? “Johnny–you’re funny when you get worked up.”

Fun side note…Mama Welliver calls me Johnny a lot!

Senior year of high school I think was the toughest one for the relationship with my mom. After coming out of the closet, it just seemed that all communication became more yelling than anything–we just didn’t see eye to eye on anything. The yelling was territory that I was unfamiliar with and I just didn’t know how to deal with it. It was a tough, emotional struggle for sure, especially with going away to school.

Ultimately, we worked through it with conversation, questions, and seeking to understand each other. And today, things couldn’t be better.

Mama Welliver is someone who has always been in the audience (with my dad of course too) to support me through every single production, concert, recital, or award ceremony that I’ve ever been a part of…and let me tell you…there have been a lot of them. And I’ve been doing this kind of stuff for at least 20 years. Just ask her how many shows she’s struggles to stay awake at…totally kidding, mom! You know I like to give you a hard time about that!

Mama Welliver is the type of person who will take anyone under her wing. She is the type of person who always puts the needs of others first. She is the type of person who will make sure that everyone has a place to go for a holiday meal so that no one is left out.

She is the one that is responsible for my curly hair gene…and for those of you who’ve seen my hair recently, it is pretty darn curly…and long. And I can’t wait to cut it.

She is the one that is responsible for bringing me up on the morals of kindness, love, and putting others first in life.

She is the one responsible for giving me my fear of confrontation. Like mother, like son–we are both people that do not enjoy or do well at crucial conversations…but we’re working on that.

She is also the one responsible for giving me the “worry about everything” gene. Haha. We are both such worriers…to the maximum level.

Mama Welliver–thank you for always being there to support me through it all. Thank you for passing down your curly hair gene, for always coming out to watch my shows even if they are ones that don’t excite you, and for pushing me to always put 110% into everything that I undertake.

Thank you for always allowing me to give you a hard time for being short when we take photos beside each other. You are always such a good sport about it.

Thank you for taking time to seek and understand my sexuality. I know it wasn’t easy and I know that it still has both scary and rough moments for you, but it is something that I can’t put into words with how much I appreciate it and how much it means to me.

You’ve never stopped believing in me, supporting me, or loving me.

My thirst and passion for life, love for others, smile, and Mr. Sunshine attitude have stemmed from everything you’ve taught me over the last 31 years. We’ve evolved and been through our share of tough times, but we have always come out of it all beaming the same smile…and apparently the same vests too!

I love you, Mama Welliver and I can’t begin to thank you enough for the person you have made me today.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

Well, here we are. Yet another week has gone by. Does anyone actually know what day it is? What month it is? What season it is?

Mother Nature is continuing to confuse me with her weather because one day it is pushing 80 degrees with sunshine and the next day mis windy with brisk chills that force us to cuddle ourselves with comfy sweatshirts.

Right now, it is 8:50pm, my legs are KILLING me from my 5 mile run around Lancaster, and the grandfather clock in my living room continues to chime letting me know that time is passing as I try to come up with what words to write for you all this week.

And before we get into this week’s post, I will start with the below message that I continue to re-iterate as we live out the 2020 quarantine.

My heart goes out to those who have passed away from this virus. My heart goes out to all of those who are currently suffering and fighting to get well. My heart goes out to everyone who has been directly and indirectly affected by this virus. My heart goes out to all people who are working the front lines to restore health and well-being to the world around us. My heart goes out to all of us who are working to navigate the unknown on the daily with feelings of anxiety and despair.

Well, time to get down to business. Do you have your cup of coffee ready?

Tonight, as I was struggling to figure out what to write, I got the sudden craving for orange juice. I wanted something refreshing along with a dose of Vitamin C because who doesn’t love some extra Vitamin C?!

As I walked to the fridge to pour myself a cold glass of the colorful beverage, I took notice of the label for what was probably the first time. Because who actually reads labels when they are pouring themselves product from the fridge?!

Hopefully, I’m not in the minority on that.

Regardless, the label read the following:

“50% Less Calories. Same Great Taste.”

And that was when it hit me…the blog topic for this week!

And no, it is not in regards to the fact that I LOVE calories and that everything I consume should be 100% calories.

Calories don’t count during quarantine, right?!

Anyhoo, I digress.

These days, it is rare for me to experience a day without any type of negative–whether it is from the news that is being presented to us on the daily, a customer interaction in regards to a slow shipping time, or witnessing verbal abuse between humans. It’s everywhere.

And while our world has definitely come together to support each other in several aspects, there is still a part of me that feels like we have become even more polarized as a society.

It is disheartening.

And what is even more saddening is to see the numbers (and witnessing from social media) the people who are struggling with anxiety and depression.

That is also disheartening.

And I want anyone who may be reading this post (or who might know of someone struggling with these feelings mentioned above) to reach out to me because as Mr. Sunshine I’m happy to provide a listening ear or extra dash of positive energy to hopefully help give you that extra boost.

As Robert Ingersoll once said, “We rise by lifting others.”

We have to remember to continue supporting each other throughout what we are experiencing and continuing to be humble, understanding, and genuine.

But most importantly, we must remember to be HUMAN with each other.

So, what point am I trying to make with this blog post?

It is actually quite simple.

We need to work on 50% less hate and substitute it with 50% more love.

We need to work on 50% less finger pointing and substitute it with 50% more of a listening ear.

We need to work on 50% less fear and substitute it with 50% more faith.

We need to work on 50% less sadness and frowns and substitute with 50% more happiness and smiles.

We need to work on 50% less hurtful thoughts and actions and substitute it with 50% more acts of kindness.

The point I’m trying to make is that we all have areas in our life where we can work on “50% less calories.” And from there, we can try substituting it with an alternative that will still allow us to have the “same great taste.”

Just like the label I read on my refreshing orange juice beverage.

I know that I’ve had several moments of personal defeat and failure of these entities I’ve mentioned above in the last couple of weeks. I’m a work in progress. We all are. No one is perfect and what is beautiful about what we are experiencing right now is that we are all experiencing it together.

So step back today, tomorrow, and the next day to figure out how you personally can do 50% less in your life and substitute it with 50% more to make the world a better place.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

Well, we’ve made it to what I think is day 679543 of quarantine. Well, in actuality, I have no idea what day of quarantine it is because it seems like all the days just seem to muddle together. And that is complete and utter honesty.

Does anyone actually know what day of quarantine we are in? Or what month it is? Or what day it is?

If my calculations are correct, I believe it is Monday, April 27th of the year 2020, but I could use a confirmation from another individual or two just to be sure.

Well, before we get down to business, I will start with the below message that I’ve been re-iterating each week since the pandemic began.

My heart goes out to those who have passed away from this virus. My heart goes out to all of those who are currently suffering and fighting to get well. My heart goes out to everyone who has been directly and indirectly affected by this virus. My heart goes out to all people who are working the front lines to restore health and well-being to the world around us. My heart goes out to all of us who are working to navigate the unknown on the daily with feelings of anxiety and despair.

In last week’s post, I shared some very personal stories and rapid fire facts that I had not shared with the public before. My thoughts seemed to be random and all over the place because I just wanted to write what I was feeling in the moment…raw and from the heart.

And…sorry not sorry…it’s going to happen again with this week’s post.

Are you ready? Do you have your morning coffee in hand? Well, please put your arms and legs inside the car because this train is about to leave the station at FULL speed.

Can you tell I like roller coasters? They are something that I can’t wait to ride again at Hershey Park, especially The Great Bear. One can only hope that it will happen at some point this year.

But I digress.

Before this pandemic started, I was a single, gay man living in Lancaster.

And now, I’m a single, gay man living in Lancaster trying to navigate my way through a pandemic on the daily. Just like you. Just like the whole world. These days, opening the front door to go outside seems more foreign than ever before and shopping online for groceries seems to have replaced the typical shopping sprees for new clothes or the newest candle scent from Bath and Body Works.

So, here are some rapid fire feelings about what I feel, how I react, what I’m going though and what I’ve gone through since this pandemic began.

1. I’ve actually taken stock of how many DVD’s I own because I now have time to watch them all. And I have over 100 because I got tired once I got to that number when counting. If you follow my Instagram or Facebook stories, you will notice that I’ve chronicled a few of the ones I’ve already watched thus far.

2. I’ve discovered crevices in spots of the house that I never knew existed before because having off from work every other week makes me a crazy person with cleaning. There are spots in my house that I don’t think have been cleaned in the 3 1/2 years that I’ve lived in this house and that has now changed…finally. Mmmbyeee.

3. I’ve found out how to embrace technology in new ways with communicating via Zoom, HouseParty, and FaceTime. Would you believe that before this pandemic, I hadn’t used FaceTime? Well, believes it. I’m pretty sure that is 99.99% true.

4. I’ve learned that stuffed animals will be extremely loyal to you for squeezing when you are feeling sad because not all of us have a person or animal that they are quarantined with. Mr. Snuggles the hippo has come through for me in some dark moments.

5. This one might make me sound like a crazy person, but this week’s blog involves rapid fire facts where I’m holding nothing back. I cry at least once a week in the evening trying to grasp with the fact that everything will probably never be the same again.

6. I crunch numbers of both my checking and savings account 2, 3, sometimes even 5 times in a day just to make sure that there is enough for me to put food on the table and pay the bills that need paid. And even though I’m still able to work (on a reduced hour schedule), it is a very scary reality that I worry about even when I go to bed at night somedays. I never had filed for unemployment before in my life and it was a process that was confusing and foreign to me. I’m sure money worries and long-term finances are something that each and every one of us is stressing about in some way, shape, or form.

7. Some days, I break down in tears because I feel like some of humanity has lost their sense of compassion, empathy, love, and kindness. It’s like they curled it up in a ball and threw it out the window. It is disheartening and hurts my soul so much. Words in a blog really can’t describe the feeling I go through seeing this through facets of the news, social media, customer interactions, etc. But it hurts. A lot. If I had to try and describe what it feels like, I would have to say that it’s like getting sucker punched right in the stomach ten times over. And each time, I feel like the fire inside of me fades a little. But mark my words…

I will combat this feeling with an even greater passion to change the world in 2021 and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let anyone including COVID-19 stop me.

8. I struggle with the fact that I might not step foot into the office building of my full time job again for an indefinite amount of time. While working from home is something that I’ve learned to adapt to over the past two months (and something I’m extremely grateful for), it is also something that I really struggle with because I miss so many things. I miss my phone where I can chat with my customers and hear their voices. I miss seeing the faces and feeling the exciting energy from my coworkers that I love dearly. I miss seeing Chef Greg and Chef Larry who always have a smile to share with every single person. The sombering reality that the office life will be forever changed is one that hasn’t quite sunk in for me yet.

9. And while most of you already know this because I’ve mentioned it a gazillion times before…it hurts me to not be able to hug those that I love most.

But throughout the breakdowns of tears and moments of worry, I remind myself of one thing:

Begin each day with a grateful heart.

I have so much to be grateful for: my health, a roof over my head, loving family, amazing friends, jobs that give me the ability to still be working, food on the table to help keep my strength up, a church community that helps me to keep my faith strong during times of unknown, and so many other wonderful blessings.

We have to help each other through this. We have to remember to lean on family and friends when we are struggling.

We have to remember to love each other. We have to remember to show kindness to each other.

We are all struggling.

We all have our moments.

And the next time when you are feeling those moments, remember to do something for yourself that makes YOU feel good inside…something that helps YOU reset…something that helps YOU keep the flame inside your soul burning.

I personally have found that dancing to Katy Perry in my living room and watching episodes of The Golden Girls proves effective…

…and eating ice cream straight from the container.

But you probably already knew these things. Not breaking news I know.

Well, there you have it. Mr. Sunshine–a single, gay man living in Lancaster trying to navigate a pandemic.

Crying.

Worrying.

Laughing.

And crying some more.

With a dash of Golden Girls and ice cream in between.

That’s all I have for you this week, folks.

Thanks for joining me on this week’s ride. We have now officially returned to the station when you can now exit the car safely and fill up your coffee mugs with more caffeine.

Until we meet again in one week.

Stay safe and healthy and don’t forget to be kind always.

And don’t forget to take a few moments to thank those frontline workers who are defending COVID-19 all across the world to restore health and wellness to all.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

P.S.-For those who read last week’s post about my magazine stealing incident, here is a little bonus for you. Below is the image of the magazine cover that I stole that fateful night at the local Weis Markets:

Well, we made it to another week. I hope all of you are staying safe and healthy as we continue to live out this pandemic in quarantine. And as a reminder, I would like to re-iterate the below before I get started on this week’s post.

My heart goes out to those who have passed away from this virus. My heart goes out to all of those who are currently suffering and fighting to get well. My heart goes out to everyone who has been directly and indirectly affected by this virus. My heart goes out to all people who are working the front lines to restore health and well-being to the world around us. My heart goes out to all of us who are working to navigate the unknown on the daily with feelings of anxiety and despair.

Well, I’m not wasting any time in this week’s post, so buckle your seat belts and get ready because this week, I’m laying it all out on the table. Real and raw.

On Saturday night, I put my body vertical on the couch like I normally do around 11pm and flipped on my usual go-to evening episodes of The Golden Girls. And as I laid there, I had a very weird sensation that something was stuck in my throat and I couldn’t get it to go away. I kept trying to swallow the saliva that my mouth was creating (TMI I know…sorry not sorry), but it wasn’t helping.

Somehow, I magically drifted off into a slumber and when my eyes flipped awake, I could see it was just before midnight and Betty White was delivering a punch line as the audience cackled. The only difference was that I wasn’t cackling along with her like I usually do. I was so focused on the feeling in my throat.

In classic fashion, I took to Google and typed in the search bar “ways to remove food stuck in throat” and immediately started to read the list of suggestions that were returned from my search on the device I was holding in the palm of my hand.

Needless to say that I tried so many different things that list mentioned including Ginger Ale, big gulps of water, moist/soft foods (yogurt), coughing (essentially trying to gag myself), and even a teaspoon of butter. Yes, that’s correct. Butter. Gross. Nothing worked and I spent all night tossing and turning on the couch thinking about the sensation I was feeling and how to get rid of it.

Anyhoo, long story short…I barely slept at all and I ended up scheduling a Teledoc appointment (which is an incredible service by the way) and was given a prescription for Nexium to help treat what is thought to be a minor case of acid reflux. A huge thank you to Adrienne of McElroy Pharmacy for traveling into the shop on a day when they were closed to help me out.

The point of this story is not to have a pity party in my honor, but rather something on a much deeper level.

I felt helpless. I felt panic.

But above all, I felt lost.

I’m not even 100% sure when this pandemic and quarantine situation officially started, but if my calculations are correct, I believe we are coming up on the approximate two month mark.

And honestly, I feel like I’ve lost some of the essence of Mr. Sunshine.

Something just doesn’t feel right, so I figured this week, I would just start from the beginning…because we are told that it is a good place to start.

So, I apologize in advance for rambling thoughts, but it is just the way this week’s blog post is going to be. Real, raw stories and facts about me as I try to find my way back into the sunshine of sweet.

Hi, my name is JP Welliver. I’m 32 years-old and live in Lancaster, PA. I’m just over 6 foot tall and weigh 155lbs. I have blue eyes, blonde hair, and pretty intense dimples.

The childhood home I grew up in is located in Lititz and is one that I still visit often because family time is something that is extremely important to me. My parents, Gil and Carol raised me on strong morals of love, faith, kindness, and taught me to always do what is right.

My brother, Will is someone who I didn’t always get along with or see eye to eye with growing up and while we did our share of raising voices and fighting, he is someone that is actually pretty cool. It has been a true pleasure getting to witness him become a loving father with my sister-in-law, Mindy and their adorable baby girl, Mackenzie.

In elementary school, I was often made of fun for multiple reasons whether it was because of the clothes I wore or just for the fact that I was more feminine. Looking back, it is not something that really phases me because it is something that helped me to shape who I am today, but in the moment of those days where people were so inconsiderate of others’ and their feelings, it hurt the heart.

Ready for an elementary school story that I’ve never told another soul?

Well, read on.

During my time in the first grade, I had a huge crush on this one girl. Obviously, I will not reveal her name, but for the purpose of this post, we will call her “Jane Doe.” Well, during this time of first grade, Disney had released Pocahontas and I was obviously obsessed with the movie. This was also one of the many reasons why I was made fun of…because you know…Disney princesses…boys aren’t supposed to like them. It’s not “natural.”

Anyhoo, I digress.

So, long story short (I’m using this phrase a lot in this post), I drew this girl a picture of Pocahontas and gave it to her one day at recess in front of her friends. And, after I handed that picture to her, she took it, walked over to the trash can, and threw it away.

My heart was crushed. It felt as if I had just been punched in the stomach.

Flash forward to middle school where life didn’t really get much better as far as the being made fun of aspect. People were still making fun of me for the clothes I wore and being feminine. Nothing new. It wasn’t breaking news.

Ready for the intense middle school story that I’ve never written for the public eye before?

Well, maybe refill your coffee mug at this point if you have a free moment. And sit down if you aren’t already.

One day, in seventh grade, after gym class, I had a group of “jocks” make fun of me for how skinny I was. And while I didn’t really let it bother me in the moment because I had learned to ignore their comments, it really did hurt. That night, I was so frustrated and mad at both my body and these jocks that I decided to steal a Men’s Workout magazine from Weis Markets. I placed the magazine under my sweatshirt strategically so that it wouldn’t fall out unexpectedly. I dreamed of being muscular like the male models that were pictured in the magazine and had high hopes of one day being able to not get made fun of for my skinny minny body type.

Well, that week I felt so guilty and I got to the point where I just couldn’t take it anymore. So, I returned to the Weis Markets with the magazine in a large, manilla envelope and went to the service desk. I handed the envelope to the worker letting them know that I had shoplifted it from their store earlier in the week and also handed them the amount of money that the magazine would’ve cost if I were to have purchased it.

And that’s that. On to the high school years.

The high school years (at least after ninth grade), were where I really started to find myself and get more comfortable with myself. The real defining moment for me was the Spring of my junior year (2005) when I admitted to one boy from our music department that I was gay and had a huge crush on him.

And while that particular individual did not swing that way or share the same feelings (story of my life), he was extremely happy for me admitting and being honest with myself. None of my friends were surprised. If anything, it was relief for them that I had finally discovered this was who I was.

Senior year of high school and the Summer before leaving for college were a bit difficult for me because of the disconnect that I was experiencing with my parents over my sexuality. It was territory that was new for all of us and waters that I didn’t know how to navigate and it often ended in frustration and yelling. Fast forward to today and my parents are fully supportive more than ever and I couldn’t be more thankful for all of their never-ending support, guidance, and love. If only everyone in this world could have parents as amazing and loving as them.

Press ahead to my college years at Penn State where I spent 4 wonderful years of life that I would go back and re-live in a heartbeat. Here are a few rapid fire facts for you from my college years.

1. I became part of a show choir group, The Singing Lions which I credit for keeping me at Penn State. Had it not been for their support, love, and friendship, I would’ve left to come back home and start back at square one. They are also the ones whom are credited with giving me the Mr. Sunshine nickname that has still stuck to this very day.

2. One very vivid memory I have at college (that also involves adult beverages), was at a cast party after a production of Crazy For You that involved Hawaiian Punch, vodka, and a white carpet. You do the math because I don’t think I need to put together the elements for you to figure out the answer to the equation.

3. I also have one very vivid memory of becoming very ill at the Indigo Bar downtown. I have Elyse, Marissa, Jolie, Ashley, and Jimmy to thank for coming to my rescue that night because I was very much a hot mess and they were kind and compassionate enough to put up with me that evening. Ask any one of them and I’m sure they will tell you it was not my best moment.

4. I went into college wanting to major in Public Relations/Broadcast Journalism because I wanted to become the next Matt Lauer. The night that I found out I didn’t get into either major because my GPA was not high enough was while on Spring Break Tour with The Singing Lions. We were all staying at different alumni homes and I happened to be with a very wealthy family that actually had an elevator in their home. All I can say is thank goodness for the king-size bed and what seemed to be a million pillows that decorated the headboard. Those pillows were the comfort for me that fateful evening to bury my disappointment.

5. I used to love playing April Fool’s jokes on people and one of my best ones to this day was when I told my college friends that I was being dismissed from the College of Communications because of having too low of a GPA. I even went as far as to forge an official-looking letter to show everyone when they didn’t believe me. I had several people going with that one and to this day, haven’t come up with anything quite as good.

Flash forward to now…my adult life…post college years. Here are even more rapid fire facts that you may or may not already know about me. This is all part of the rambling, raw thoughts that I mentioned would be happening in this week’s post. Once again…sorry not sorry.

1. I do not like to be in the passenger seat of a car when a driver is speeding at more than 10mph over the limit. It makes me extremely uncomfortable, nervous, and freaked out. So, if I’m a passenger in your car, please don’t speed.

2. I didn’t have a lot of money saved when I went to buy my house in 2016. In fact, I didn’t really have any money saved. In truth, I did things a little backwards and rushed into my decision of buying. But then again, I like to be unique and opposite of what the “rule book” tells us.

3. In 2016, I was out in Lancaster City and got very sick. Somehow, I got into an Uber that took me back to the house in Lititz that I was living at with Elyse and Marissa. I struggled getting into the door and once in, I fell down on the kitchen floor and just laid there. Elyse was not home and Marissa was out with some friends. She got home to discover me on the floor and immediately threw me into the shower. I think that moment freaked us both out a lot. She displayed true friendship that evening (like she has over the years so many times) and I will be forever grateful.

4. I work three jobs to support myself as a single, gay man in society. I love working and keeping busy and find myself getting annoyed when people tell me that I work too much.

5. I get irritated when people tell me that I need to find a boyfriend. No, I do not. While society might tell us that we need to have a partner in life to be happy, I disagree 150%. I find myself thriving with the friendships that I have built up in my life and do not feel that dating is something that needs added into my life. It has never been a priority for me and I don’t see it becoming one in the near future. So, get off your high horse and stop telling me I need a man in my life.

6. I don’t really like expensive things nor do I find joy in wealth or material objects. I would much rather save the money I work hard for or use it to better the lives of others in the world around me. I am the type of person that will wear my shoes until they are falling apart or wear my shirt until all the buttons fall off before I even think about buying new ones.

7. I don’t need fancy, expensive trips or foods. Give me the simplicity of a beach and a cheap hotel with family and friends and I’m good to go. In addition, give me cheap, fried unhealthy food that costs $5.00 as opposed to the healthy option that costs three times as much.

8. I’m deathly afraid of spiders…doesn’t matter if they are small, medium, or large. One size fits all in the scare meter for me.

9. While I am definitely an outgoing and extroverted person, there are days and moments in my life where the last thing that I want to do is interact with humans. This is a feeling that I usually convey to others through direct texts or via a very quiet, non-talkative personality.

10. I’ve found it much harder in the past couple of weeks of this pandemic to not get stressed out or drained. In my personal opinion, people have become even more rude than before and seem to have lost any sense of love, compassion, kindness, and empathy. It deeply saddens me in the soul.

11. Each time I see a post on social media that includes the phrase “my person” or some other form of PDA, mushy, romantic descriptions/words/text, I get annoyed. No one’s life is perfect, so stop trying to tell the world that it is through the use of fancy filters and hashtags.

12. I apologize in advance for this one because it might be TMI, but I’m laying it all out there. At 32, I’m still a virgin and proud of it. What saddens me most about this fact is that people usually don’t believe me when I tell them.

13. Listening to Katy Perry’s Firework always makes me feel better no matter how old the song is.

14. Another one of my biggest struggles that I deal with on the daily in my life (especially right now with all the extra time we have to think and let our minds wander) is the aspect of feeling as if I don’t fit in, specifically when I’m in a group setting. As the world of adulting continues and I evolve as an individual, I find myself thinking more and more about my morals and ideals that I’m passionate about and fight for in life. And with that evolution also come the thoughts of who truly belongs in my life and those who might need to start getting phased out.

15. I do not feel fulfilled when I’m not doing something to help others. The fact that I’m not doing anything this year to aid with pediatric cancer research is something that I’m really feeling the void with. Helping others is just something that is a part of my blood and when I’m not actively doing that, it leaves me feeling empty. It makes me feel lost.

So, what was the point of this blog post? What was the point of my rambling, raw thoughts?

Well, it was to convey the point that I feel lost as Mr. Sunshine at the moment with this pandemic going on. I feel helpless in trying to figure out where I belong in the field of trying to help others. I thought by sharing some very personal facts and stories about myself while starting from the beginning and working up to current day of how I’ve evolved would be a way for me to reflect and give me some guidance on this path of trying to navigate where Mr. Sunshine fits in with the COVID-19 crisis.

The sunshine struggle of sweet is very real for me right now and one that will continue for me as we all work our way into “the new normal.”

Sorry for the word vomit of rambling thoughts. Oh, and in case I didn’t mention it before, I really miss hugs. Like…a lot.

So, thanks for sticking with me during all the crazy times and continuing to support me with love and kindness. Thanks for reading and coming back to read week after week.

I can only hope that both you, me, and everyone else in the communities and world around us will come out of what we are currently experiencing even stronger and more determined than before.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

Uncertainty.

Anxious.

Unknown.

Social Distancing.

Fearful.

Uneasy.

Concerned.

Worried.

These words along with many others have now decided to creep their way into our vocabulary as we continue to live out this quarantine.

And, if we are being honest, there have definitely been some moments where this quarantine has gotten the best of me.

This past week, I let myself down by feeling anxious about things that don’t matter…things outside of my control. It was a clear indication that I needed a mental recharge. A push of the reset button so to speak.

What’s funny though is that in these moments of unknown, uncertainty, and anxiety that I (along with many of you) are feeling, I get a chance to step back and discover joy in simple things even more.

And what’s even better is that simple things seem to find their way into our lives when we need them most.

Here are just a few examples of what I got to experience this week:

On my run around Lancaster City on Monday, I came across this beautifully designed sidewalk with a quote that was just what I needed to hear. How perfect of a moment it was for me to witness this. And how perfect of a reminder that we all need during these current times that we are experiencing. Just remember, that through it all, every little thing is gonna be alright.

And, as if that sidewalk quote wasn’t perfect enough, I came across the below also during my run through Lancaster City. The simplest of words, but the greatest of meanings. Just don’t forget that with hope we can do anything. The darkness might be showing its ugly face to us on the daily, but we have to remember to combat it with the hope that we find within ourselves…deep inside our heart and soul.

And while it didn’t feel like Easter this year, I was able to still worship with my church family virtually. Vicar Angie reminded us that Easter is not just one day, buy everyday. The beauty, love, and hope of God and his resurrection for us can be found in the simplest of things every single day. I had the opportunity to see some members of the church in person since we did a social distance drive by allowing members to place fresh flowers by the cross. It was an emotional moment and realization for me because I can’t wait to be able to worship in person with them again–to sing my heart out with them again, to smile with them again, to just be together again.

In the coming weeks, each time I feel myself starting to feel like one of the words that I listed in the beginning of this post, I will plan to do the following:

Stop, drop, and breathe.

And, coupled with this mantra will be the one that I continue to partake in each day that I get up to live out my life:

Begin each day with a grateful heart.

Because even though we are living in a world of unknown at the moment, there is so much in our lives that we should be grateful for.

What am I grateful for? There are just too many things to mention, but here are just a few:

-My family and friends that make my life extraordinary with their love, compassion, and laughs.

-My jobs that allow me to continue working from home during this challenging time.

-My church family that builds each other up in faith, compassion, and kindness.

-The roof over my head that keeps me safe, warm, and comfortable.

And the list goes on and on…you get the picture.

I don’t know how long what we are experiencing will last.

I don’t know what the future holds in store for us.

But what I do know is that if you are feeling thoughts of anxiety and fear, that I would encourage you to join me in stopping, dropping, and breathing.

And to begin each day with a grateful heart because it will help give you both the mental recharge and reset you need to make it through the days ahead.

Stay safe. Stay healthy. And remember to take a moment to thank all those helping in the COVID-19 pandemic.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

Well, folks. We have officially started the first full week of April. It certainly doesn’t feel like Easter is only days away, but the calendar that I cross off each day on the wall of my house and in my planner certainly aren’t lying.

It’s funny because a lot of weeks, I don’t feel inspired to write the words that you read on a newly-released Monday blog until the Sunday before. And most times, it is right before the bewitching hour of 12 midnight when I turn into a pumpkin…

…or in most cases, the bewitching hour that gives me a second wind.

But that is another story for another week.

And, before I get any further on this week’s blog post, I would like to re-iterate a few sentences from last week’s blog post that I want to stress each week moving forward.

My heart goes out to those who have passed away from this virus. My heart goes out to all of those who are currently suffering and fighting to get well. My heart goes out to everyone who has been directly and indirectly affected by this virus. My heart goes out to all people who are working the front lines to restore health and well-being to the world around us. My heart goes out to all of us who are working to navigate the unknown on the daily with feelings of anxiety and despair.”

It’s hard to believe that we are anticipated to be in quarantine through the end of April…and that isn’t even something that is guaranteed especially given the circumstances of how things change on the daily.

And as I sit looking through the window to an outside world in lock down of fear, panic, and unknown, I look to myself and realize that during these last couple of weeks of quarantine, I’ve learned and solidified a few things about myself that I share with you today.

I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve and what I’ve experienced the past couple of weeks is no different. If anything, this quarantine has helped strip me of any insecurities that might have still be lingering around Sunshine Cottage.

So, fasten your seat belts and get ready to travel with me through the twists and turns of the tracks from my quarantine life. Sounds like a reality show doesn’t it?!

What I’ve learned about myself from the quarantine.

1. I still do not enjoy cooking anymore than I did prior to quarantine life. But like seriously…give me frozen TV dinners or Campbell’s chili that I can heat up in the microwave. Go ahead. Judge me. I don’t care. Byeeeeeeeeee.
2. I am not a work at home person. While I’m certainly both grateful and blessed that I have the opportunity to continue working during this time, I just am not someone who could do this long-term on the daily. I’m ever so grateful for technology and the video chats I’ve been able to experience with coworkers, but there is just something about the office atmosphere that really warms my heart and ignites my soul. And the day when we get back there…I might just stand by my desk and cry tears of joy.
3. Even with extra time on my hands, I still have not found my green thumb. Feel free to walk by my house at any given time and you will experience a small square patch of grass that is great for hiding Easter eggs right now and weeds that could afford some tending to by delicate hands that are just not on the list of things Mr. Sunshine enjoys. Sorry not sorry. And once again, you can judge me if you will, but outside beautifying of the casa has never been something important to me. Not a priority. I mean…I love watching HGTV, but when it comes to the real thing, I’m like…BYEEEEEEE.
4. I miss working and being at the theater. The Ephrata Performing Arts Center has become a second home to me and not being involved in a show is incredibly hard. I’m currently scheduled to stage manage a Summer play production and I hope and pray that it is something that can still be produced. Having the fast-paced schedule of rehearsals helps me to thrive in life by completing tasks in an efficient, timely manner. And I miss the family feel that comes from seeing the smiling faces of the friends that I’ve made over the decade of time I’ve been involved with productions since my first one in 2010.
5. I very much enjoy alone time. While I am very much an extrovert and outgoing person…breaking news I know…it’s like jaw drop to the floor information, I’ve learned that I need a little bit of time every now and then away from the hustle and bustle to be alone. To disconnect from my phone and just be me. Color, read, meditate, lay on the floor and close my eyes, cuddle in a blanket on the couch…the possibilities are endless. And I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy time with people because I do–I love socializing and talking and getting to know others, but the alone time is something that I must do for myself in order to balance out the perfect harmony of the Mr. Sunshine personality.
6. I have found an even greater appreciation for my friends and family. We should never take anything for granted these days and experiencing this pandemic has really made me look at the people in my life around me. Who are the ones that truly matter? Who are the ones that are actually pushing me to be a better person? Who are the ones that take me for granted? If you haven’t taken a few moments in your life during this quarantine to think about who in your life is important and who in your life doesn’t belong, I encourage you to do so. It will help your personal, spiritual, and mental growth as an individual.
7. I miss hugging people. Like a lot. I’m a natural hugger of people (even if it is someone that I just met) and a natural pecker on the cheek. It’s just who I am…and I embrace it. But this time of not being able to show that love and express it in physical ways that are most comfortable for me has been extremely hard. Not receiving a hug from my mom whenever I visit is just difficult. Not being able to hug my friends that I love and miss is borderline sadness, pit in stomach. I can’t wait for the day when I can do this again. It might be another one of those moments where I hug and refuse to let go of you for at least 2 minutes, so I apologize in advance. Make sure you tell people in your life that you love them and appreciate them, especially now. Don’t take anything for granted.
8. I like simple things. Give me my Golden Girls every night on Hulu (even if I seen each episode 25,000 times), some crayons and coloring books to pass the time, and a good book to cuddle up with and I’m set. I don’t need luxurious or expensive “stuff”–so please…take a mental note. Mr. Sunshine is a simpleton.
9. I am not truly thriving in my life or truly fulfilled if I am not helping others. I’m a doer of kindness. I’m a doer of spreading sunshine. And if I’m not doing that, I just don’t feel like myself. So MARK MY WORDS. By the time this pandemic is all said and done, I will…and I mean WILL have a new task to release for changing the world. You can bet your bottom dollar. And it won’t disappoint. My true passion in this world comes from helping others and bringing joy to the lives of others and being quarantined has really brought to light that fact even more so than what was already possibly staring in my face. So, be on the lookout because Mr. Sunshine will be releasing something come 2021. But until that time, you will just have to wait.

So, what’s this all to say? I’m imperfect and I embrace the imperfection? Yes, there might be weeds in the front and back yard, dust on the floor, paint chips on the wall, mismatched pillows on the couch, and picture frames that aren’t hanging straight on the walls…and if that is something you are going to judge me on…well then…maybe you aren’t deserving of Mr. Sunshine. Imperfections make us beautiful humans and during this time of quarantine and self reflection, maybe you can also learn to embrace the imperfections around you and in your life.

Well, we’ve arrived back at the station. Hope you enjoyed your ride and getting to experience some of the twists and turns of my quarantine life that have helped me to solidify who Mr. Sunshine truly is.

Please stay safe, stay home, tell others in your life you love them., and have the faith to pray that all of this will be over sooner rather than later.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!