Embracing The “I” In Single

My name is JP Welliver and “I” embrace the “I” in single.

According to Dictionary.com, the word “single” has a bunch of different definitions. It is used in our language as an adjective. The top three definitions are listed below:

  1. Only one in number; one only; unique; sole.
  2. Of, relating to, or suitable for one person only.
  3. Unmarried or not in a romantic relationship.

As I sit here reading these over and over again, they kind of just sit there…you know…much like how Thanksgiving dinner feels in your stomach after you stuff yourself with all the food that is placed in front of your eyes. Quite the image, right?! Ugh, now all I want is mashed potatoes, corn, turkey, and my personal favorite…CRANBERRY SAUCE. Literally, give me ALL the cranberry sauce. Good thing I only have to wait three more weeks! It is literally going to be here before we know it.

Anyway, I digress. Back to the single life.

I don’t know if it is just me; however, I feel like these days, more than ever, society tells us (or at least influences us) that we must have a partner by our side in order to be happy. It feels like a social stigma that is pushed on us from all different angles as we live out our daily lives. Whether it is that latest story line arc happening on TV’s most popular show, the plot from the hit movie currently playing at the movie theaters, or the damn advertisements for the next great Christmas romantic comedy on The Hallmark Channel (which I secretly LOVE and DISLIKE at the same time), it just seems to be around every corner…something that we can’t escape from no matter how hard we try.

I’ve been single for over 6 years now…and guess what?! I’m OK with that. It has never been a high priority on my list and quite honestly, I don’t feel it necessary to have someone by my side to make myself feel “whole” or “complete.” I am my own person who gets to have control over my entire life–from setting the wake-up time on the alarm for those early mornings to determining my own bed time every single night. It’s glorious. And what’s even better is that I don’t have anyone around to judge me on those nights when I want to eat raw cookie dough from the container…that’s right…I do that. And I embrace it 150%.

I’ve always been the type of person for as long as I can remember that has thrived on being busy and helping others. Heck…I probably came out of the womb like that. If you look at my daily planner you would probably become physically ill because there are very few days (if any) from now until the end of the year that have absolutely nothing written on them. That’s actually not a joke. I think there might be 1…or 2 at most.

For me, one of the greatest joys with being single is having the power to involve myself in things that make me feel fulfilled and happy on the inside. Whether it is working with customers to help their businesses grow bigger and better, helping fellow colleagues to improve their personal growth, or coming up with the next big project for sharing kindness (January 2nd can’t come soon enough)…my heart seems to constantly be overflowing with love and compassion to fuel my drive to push forward with the greatest of energy.

Of course, like all things in life, being single comes with some struggles.

Even at 31, one of the biggest struggles that I experience with the single life is social media. Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook…all the outlets where I get to see pictures of engagements, weddings, happy couples…well…you know the rest. These posts are always something that strike up a bit of jealousy under the surface because my emotional intelligence seems to get the best of me more often than not. I become reactive and create stories in my head that you need to have that special someone by your side to have the smile that goes from ear to ear on your face.

Ultimately, in the end, I am very happy for these individuals that I witness in these posts, but I would be lying to you if I said a part of me didn’t become reactive and sour when I first see them. Yes, I said it. It’s out in the open. This is something I’m working on personally that will be a constant evolution (a revolving door so to speak) as I weave in and out of my emotions with growing older.

Are there days where I wish I could come home to that special someone ready to greet me with a hug when I walk in the front door after a really rough day at work? Absolutely.

Are there days where I wish that I could have that special someone on the couch to cuddle with me as I watch The Golden Girls for the 1000th time? I mean, duh.

But, then I wonder if these thoughts are the ones that society wants me to create in my mind. Are these the images that society wants me thinking? Will having someone by my side really make everything happy-go-lucky and perfect?

It’s the million dollar question that I will continue to explore the answer for as I live out life.

For me, life right now is about figuring out the next project or task in how to help others and display love and kindness to the community.

Right now, life is about defying the social stigma of those damn romantic comedies that tell us we need that special someone by our side.

Right now, life is about thriving on my jam packed schedule and embracing the nights of cookie dough eating.

Right now, a happy ending for me doesn’t involve a Prince Charming.

My name is JP Welliver and “I” embrace the “I” in single.

Sprinkle sunshine always,