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Mr. Sunshine Smiles

Mr. Sunshine Smiles

Just a rainbow proud single guy trying to get through life with a few sprinkles of sunshine, smiles, and kindness.

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The Christmas Crunch Time Countdown Has Begun.

Mr. Sunshine's avatar Mr. Sunshine December 17, 2018

Last week, I shared with you all how anxiety is real…even in the life of Mr. Sunshine.

This week, as I lay here wrapped in my blanket on the couch with The Golden Girls playing in the background, I can’t help but continue to visualize in my mind all the things that must be accomplished in the next week for the Christmas holiday.

For those of you who don’t know, the holiday season can be a very trying time for a church music director, especially one who has OCD and perfectionism habits times a thousand million zillion, is trying to complete last minute details for a January 2 reveal to the public, working a full and part time job, and involves himself in a local production of a Disney classic that runs for three weeks right up until three days before the big holiday.

And if planning and finalizing a Christmas Eve service isn’t enough, I’ve got gifts to wrap (and by wrap I mean put tissue paper around items and place in bags), cards to write, and final gift shopping to complete.

What does this all mean? It means that visions of sugar plum fairies won’t be dancing in my head. It means that I will be the one eating the cookies and milk…not the jolly guy in the red suit. It means that I will be enjoying all…and I mean ALL the coffee in this final week of preparation.

So, how will I tackle all these millions of things in the coming week for the Christmas season while keeping up the holiday cheer?

Well, let’s begin! (And keep in mind this list is applicable to holidays and basically 365 days a year, 7 days a week, 24 hours a day).

So grab your tub of cookie dough, fuzzy socks, and mug of hot cocoa because here come my Christmas crunch time secrets.

1. Make a list of everything that needs completed.

-As the Sound of Music reminds us, “let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.” Start simple. Make a list (or lists) of everything that needs completed. This way, you can visualize what needs tackled and completed all in one place.

2. Delegate.

-This is the one that has always been a struggle for me. From your list, take portions of it and delegate the tasks. Utilize the talents of those around you and make smart choices. For example, if someone is creative, give them the tasks that require a visual eye. Or, if you stink at gift wrapping (like I do), engage someone who you know loves doing it in exchange for a lunch date or coffee. My good friend, Elyse is one that can attest to this very bullet point! If you maximize the talents of those around you, success will be yours. Divide and conquer as they say!

3. Tackle little by little.

-This is one that I also struggle with. So often, I want to do everything at once and get it all done in one sitting, which is virtually impossible. Make specific goals of completion from your lists of tasks. Prioritize those that are most important. For example, the gifts and cards for people that I will see on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day will get wrapped last. Slow and steady wins the race and this is an aspect that I must get better with…practice what you preach as they say…still working on that.

4. Take mental breaks when needed.

-Give yourself a break when needed. Listen to your body. If your hand is cramping from writing too many personal notes in Christmas cards…well then take a break! Grab a swig or coffee or that spoonful in cookie dough you’ve dreaming about. If your eyes are drooping shut as you type out blog posts on the laptop, turn into bed earlier than normal and give the body that rest it’s been wanting for the last 4 month.

5. Remember to enjoy the company of those in your life you love most.

-This one comes without saying. The holiday is ultimately a time to be with the family and friends that you love most, so make sure you take time to relish in those moments, especially the ones of traditions that hold a special place in your heart. We won’t have these moments forever, so enjoy them while you can.

Well, there you have it. The Christmas crunch time secrets of Mr. Sunshine. And while some of these bullet points from the list are aspects I’m not the best at, I’m trying. Lord knows I’m not perfect…and I embrace that imperfection.

As we move forward to this final week of preparation before the big holiday, let us all remember to take moments of reflection to soak up every ounce of cheer possible.

It’s Christmas crunch time.

Are you ready?

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

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Even In The World Of Mr. Sunshine, Anxiety Is Real.

Mr. Sunshine's avatar Mr. Sunshine December 10, 2018

The peeling paint on the walls of the house, the dust collecting on the hardwood floor, the pile of Christmas gifts in my room the need wrapping, the pile of Christmas cards on the coffee table in the living room, the last minute details of planning a Christmas Eve service that will be inspirational and moving to all who attend, the latest gay couple engagement photo from social media. What do all these things all have in common?

They are just a few of the current thoughts running through my mind that are giving me…wait for it…anxiety.

ANXIETY.

Yes, you read it right. Anxiety. Even Mr. Sunshine experiences it.

According to the ADAA (Anxiety and Depression Association of America), here are a few quick facts and statistics:

  • Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18.1% of the population every year.
  • Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only 36.9% of those suffering receive treatment.
  • People with an anxiety disorder are three to five times more likely to go to the doctor and six times more likely to be hospitalized for psychiatric disorders than those who do not suffer from anxiety disorders.
  • Anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events.

I’m not one who has ever officially diagnosed myself as “depressed” (or sought professional medical attention); however, I will admit with full heart on my sleeve that feelings of “anxiousness” and the term of “anxiety” are ones that have moved their way into my vocabulary more often than not these days. I don’t know if it is because my brain has matured with getting older in the adult life, but it is a real struggle for me personally that I don’t always feel comfortable admitting to others.

I think, in my mind, the greatest fear for me admitting that I have these anxious feelings is that it will make me look like a failure–someone who is weak.

While I know the above is not true since it is just a story I create in my head, it is how I’m wired in the brain naturally with my personality. Combating the fears of looking like a failure or not good enough to others is one of the hardest things for me.

It takes a lot of positivity, energy, and optimism to keep up a personality of happiness . And quite frankly…there are times when I don’t have that. At all.

And the anxiety grows.

Right now in life is one of those times. The time after Thanksgiving leading up to Christmas is always jammed pack and sometimes, it is easy for me to forget to breath, eat, and sleep. There is a constant list of things that need completed and my OCD makes it simple to panic and become stressed out.

Now, let’s go back to one of the entities above that is currently on my list of aspects in life that give me the anxious feelings.

Gay couple photos on Instagram.

Being single is something that I find myself feeling very comfortable with for the most part these days. But sometimes, when I log on to social media and see the smiles of the gays in full force with their significant other, I can’t help but get a combination of feelings which include both jealousy and fear. Jealousy in the fact that I don’t have what I’m seeing portrayed through the pictures I witness with my eyes and fear that I will just shut down, which I’ve done previously. Just last week, I went through a moment of anxiety because I came home late from the theater and I wanted nothing more in the world than to be greeted by a significant other with the world’s biggest hug.

Now, I don’t want you to read this post and think to yourself “Gosh, that J.P. is not a happy person.” That, by far, is the furthest thing from the truth. Deep down, in my soul, I’m a very happy person who does so much on the daily to keep my heart fulfilled and feeling vibes of warmth and joy. It’s just that sometimes I hit road blocks. Road blocks which are called anxiety.

My time at the theater is often very special to me because it involves relationships and friendships with some very special people and allows me to transport myself to a world of fantasy where I can play a specific character(s) under the excitement of lights to bring smiles to the face of audience members. It is one reason why I always keep going back for more. I can’t stay away. And it helps me combat the road blocks of anxiety that find their way on to my path of daily life.

January 2nd will release a whole new world of Mr. Sunshine to the community around me when I take on something of extreme magnitude that I’ve never done before. It will be a challenge for sure, but the true happiness and joy that it will bring to me (and hopefully others), will be immeasurable. Once this day hits, hopefully the word of anxiety will be one found in my past.

As the days continue on, I will continue to learn more about myself and how to cope with the ever-growing list of aspects in life that give anxiois feelings. I will continue to learn how to channel a negative energy into something positive. I will continue to come up with new ways on how to spread hope and love to others in the community.

Anxiety is real.

Even in the world of Mr. Sunshine, there are a few rumbles of thunder and clouds.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

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How Does One Keep Going When The World Is So Cold?

Mr. Sunshine's avatar Mr. Sunshine December 3, 2018

It is 12:30am. My body hurts. My mind is exhausted. My energy is lacking.

I’m currently laying in my bed, wrapped in a blanket, and staring at the ceiling in the dark. I’m listening to the sound of raindrops hit the roof with a distinct rhythm of “drip drop, drip drop.” It is a calming sound for what has been a hectic weekend of rehearsals totaling 24 hours for a production of Beauty and the Beast that opens this Thursday.

My mind is flooded with a million thoughts. Thoughts of things that need to be accomplished within the month, within the week, within the day, within the hours that are continuing to go “tick tock” on the clock as I lay here writing this very post.

The negative energy of the world and its current happenings along with the negative energy of events in my personal life are ones that I find myself struggling with on the daily to try and combat.

It’s not easy.

In fact, it’s probably the hardest thing in the world for me, especially given that I have the nickname “Mr. Sunshine.”

How does one keep going on with life when the threat of negativity, fear, and hatred linger around every corner?

It’s the million dollar question and one that only YOU, yourself can answer.

What’s my secret? Is there a secret?

No, there’s no secret.

For me, it’s all about finding the fuel that ignites me from within.

My fuel is helping people. My fuel is making sure those I care about in life are supported with love. My fuel is finding new ways to spread kindness.

On January 2, 2019, you will all find out what my newest tactic is for sharing this love and happiness with the world.

Find your fuel. Find what makes your heart sing with so much love and happiness that you need to share it with others.

The world is a dark place with stories of coldness. The light inside ourselves can fuel the fire for others and ignite the lights of change that can make the biggest difference for you…for me…for everyone.

Find your fuel. It’s time for us to ignite the fires within ourselves and go out to share that light with the world.

Fuel the fires of change.

Let’s go.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

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Relishing In Tradition

Mr. Sunshine's avatar Mr. Sunshine November 26, 2018

Happy almost December 1st everyone! Isn’t it crazy how Thanksgiving has come and gone?! Like, seriously though. Where is the time going? All of the mashed potatoes have now been eaten which means…SADNESS ensues. Gosh, I just love my mashed potatoes.

The Black Friday deals have come and gone (although I’m still convinced they are no better than any other sale during the year), the Cyber Monday deals are rolling out as you read this very sentence, and the bank accounts are starting to get lower by the minute. That means the holiday craze has officially begun. I mean…that is, if you didn’t already get sucked into it like 5 months ago when we were seeing Christmas candy in the grocery store aisles and commercials playing on the TV.

Anyhoo…the purpose of my post this week is to actually give you a warm, fuzzy feeling inside and by the end of this post, I’m hoping to have your heart feeling happier than Will Ferrell when he first meets his dad with a singing gram in that amazing scene of Elf that gets us laughing every time.

But first thing is first. You must all hear about my embarrassing story from Thanksgiving Eve. And get ready, because it’s pretty classic. So, get your popcorn and soft drink and grab a front row seat! Are you ready?! This is an ADDED BONUS just for you readers!

After a three hour rehearsal for Beauty and the Beast at EPAC, I came home to my parents house to stay the night prior to Thanksgiving. Whilst relaxing on the couch watching Blue Bloods, I suddenly found my stomach incredibly hungry. I would compare it to the famous phrase of “there arose such a clatter”–except for the fact that the clatter was happening in my stomach. Naturally, I decided to scamper to the kitchen to see what I could find. On the counter, I discovered some delicious looking Tex Mex snack mix, which is something that I enjoy very much. It is always a “fan favorite” that my family takes to our annual beach trip in September. My hands quickly opened the container and pulled out a few pieces. I stuffed them in my mouth and immediately spit them out. It tasted like dog food! Like…YUCK! GROSS! GAG! After contemplating for a few seconds, I chalk up the taste to just being extremely tired and swallow the couple pieces I had picked out. I think nothing of it and go to bed. The next morning, I wake up and tell my mom what I did. She starts laughing and tells me that what I ate were in fact dog treats that she uses to train our youngest puppy, Ginger. So…I wasn’t actually tired…well I was, but my taste buds were correct. I should’ve trusted them. Needless to say, the container of Tex Mex has now been labeled “DOG TREATS.” So, there you go. The End. Cue curtain drop.

Now, let’s move on to the discussion about getting the warm, fuzzy feeling inside your heart with these next couple of paragraphs. This time of year with the holidays upon us always seems to be filled with tradition. If you were to look up the definition of tradition in the dictionary, you would find the below:

  1. Handing down of statements, beliefs, customs, information, etc., from generation to generation, especially by word of mouth or by practice.
  2. Something that is handed down.
  3. A long established or inherited way of thinking or acting.

For many of us, we are part of traditions at this time of year. They are moments that give us warmth and comfort when the world around us is cold. They are moments that allow us to be filled with love. They are moments that we are able to cherish forever in a special place of our heart. Today, I share with you two of my all-time favorite traditions that give me that warm-fuzzy feeling.

Tradition #1: Decorating The Christmas Tree 

Who doesn’t love a tradition like this one? It’s almost as classic as watching The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade on NBC. Each year, after Thanksgiving dinner is done and the stomach has been expanded to three times its size, I get to relish in the tradition of decorating the Christmas tree with my family. Making sure the tinsel is perfectly placed from top to bottom in the appropriate downhill spiral formation including proper spacing between each strand, double checking that every glittery Christmas ball is evenly spaced apart from each other, and triple checking that all the ornaments are hung in their own perfect spot of each singular branch. Martha Stewart would be so proud. My family is an artificial tree family (go ahead and judge…see if I care), but with two dogs in the house, the clean up of a gazillion needles year after year, and heavy ornaments that never stay supported with the weak branches from the past, it just made sense to make the switch. I’ve always loved this tradition with my family and being able to sit back, relax, and enjoy the twinkling lights after it is all said and done, just gives me that cozy feeling that should be felt by everyone during the holiday season. For me, the decorating of the tree is the official start to Christmas.

Tradition #2: Christmas Eve Service At Church 

This one is a given…and it’s not just because I’m the Music Director at church. Christmas Eve service at church has always been special to me…for as long as I can remember. It’s one of those moments that just can’t be described. You have to experience it…in person…in the flesh. The candlelight by the windows, the vibrant poinsettias adorning the church everywhere you look, the telling of the Christmas story, the nativity scene, being with friends and family, singing the hymns, lighting the candles…all of it makes for a truly beautiful experience that never gets old to me. And my favorite part of it all? Well that would be when the church lights go out, the candles get lit, and the singing of “Silent Night” echoes throughout the walls of the sanctuary. Each year, it makes me cry without fail. And each year, it gives me chills down my spine. I realize that religion and a church service on Christmas Eve is not everyone’s thing; however, if you feel like you want to experience something special or try something new, I encourage you to check out my church. I promise you won’t be disappointed. You will leave being filled with the true warmth of the season.

Well, that’s all I’ve got for you this week folks. What are your favorite holiday traditions? What are you most excited about with this upcoming holiday season? Share it below by commenting on this post.

Until next week friends!

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

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What Is Being Thankful?

Mr. Sunshine's avatar Mr. Sunshine November 19, 2018

Well, happy Monday to you all once again! Thank you so much for coming back to enjoy another blog post from me, Mr. Sunshine.

Currently, I’m writing from the comfort of my bed where I’m wrapped in a blanket trying to ward off a splitting headache. But, as they say in show business, the show must go on! So, that means…the blogger must continue to write!

So, here I am.

Wash, rinse, repeat. Or in my case…work, rehearsal, sleep. And repeat…every day until further notice.

Those of you who know me realize that this time of year is one that is incredibly crazy for me. Doing what seems like a million different things amidst a jam-packed schedule while also preparing for the holidays and another Sunshine Reveal in January can have its moments. Factor in working two jobs (well three if you count my church music director position), rehearsals for two shows (one of which opens in two weeks), trying to keep up with cleaning my house, remembering to eat, personal training twice a week, figuring out what to get people for Christmas, figuring out when I can shop for those gifts for people, figuring out when to wrap those gifts, and attempting to get at least 5 hours of sleep a night…are you tired yet?? Seriously though, I can’t wait for my head to hit the pillow tonight.

But amidst all the chaos, I must admit that it is because of this cray cray schedule that I find myself loving the holiday of Thanksgiving SO much. Personally, for me, it truly is a time for me to sit back, forget about the rush of the upcoming season, and to take a few moments of deep breaths to truly reflect on the many blessing I have been given.

What is being thankful? Well…step right up and I shall tell you just how Mr. Sunshine answers that million dollar question.

Being thankful is knowing that you have a roof over your head to come home to and blankets to wrap yourself in during moments of coldness.

Being thankful is realizing that you have clothes on your back to keep you warm and protected from the elements of Mother Nature around you.

Being thankful is realizing that you have a career(s) to help you grow professionally.

Being thankful is realizing that money does not buy happiness.

Being thankful is embracing your imperfections and being OK with that.

Being thankful is standing out in the crowd to embrace the unique-ness of yourself.

Being thankful is finding comfort in nights with your family that involve ice cream, tv watching, and card playing.

Being thankful is knowing you have friends that you can run to for love, hugs, and advice.

Being thankful is embracing the single life for all that it’s worth and being OK with that.

Being thankful is realizing that YOU can make a difference in this world.

Being thankful is sharing love and kindness each day of your life with those around you.

Remember to take some true moments of reflection not just this week, but each and every day on the blessings you have in life.

And remember to use those blessings to go out in the world to make positive change.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

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The MCM Of My Life Is…

Mr. Sunshine's avatar Mr. Sunshine November 12, 2018

Sunshine greetings, readers!

It’s time for yet another week to start…are you ready? More importantly, are you also ready for the fact that Thanksgiving is next week already? I seriously CAN’T wait to eat mashed potatoes. ALL of the mashed potatoes. Seriously. Starches times a million. In my belly. Now. And forever.

So, one of the million dollar questions that has been flying around my brain recently is this:

How did the trend of MCM ever begin in our society? Where did it come from? If this were the final jeopardy question to win all the money in the world, there would be no doubt in my mind that I would lose everything.

The MCM seems to be a growing trend in society that many people like to use whether posting on Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, or some type of other social platform. #MCM

For those of you who were hoping I was going to discuss an actual man crush, I’m sorry to burst your bubble…that will be another post…in the future…down the road…maybe.

Today, I’m actually going to talk about my three current “crushes” and “obsessions” that are keeping me on my toes during this Fall season of brisk chills that is making me shiver on the daily.

#1: Starbucks Peppermint Mochas

This one should come as no surprise to any of you. The holiday beverage selection is always one that gets my taste buds jumping and jiving to the beat of excitement! For me, that initial sip of foam and peppermint hitting the lips gives me the feeling of Christmas almost immediately. And the festive cups that they are using this year are also spot on. It’s funny because it was back in 2015 when the whole red cup controversy took place. Who remembers that? Well, lucky for you I have this visual reminder to help jostle your memory.

#2 Viola Davis & How To Get Away With Murder

Don’t worry. I won’t give away any spoilers from this past week’s episode. Which, in actuality, I haven’t even watched yet. Shame on me for falling behind. Seriously though. If you don’t watch this show, you are MISSING out. Viola Davis is pure brilliance. BRILLIANCE I say. The show’s writing is top-notch and the fast-paced plot lines are almost impossible to keep up with. Each time I have a theory on what is happening, a new twist comes along and crushes it all. SO good. If you haven’t already given time to this ABC show, you must. I promise you won’t be disappointed. Even better…we’ll be able to have discussion sessions about all the juicy drama as we compare notes and theories.

Side note…there are some incredibly HOT men on the show which makes it worth watching in itself. Yeah, I said it. And believe me…I’m not wrong.

#3 The Pentatonix and David Archuleta Christmas Albums

Well, Christmas is like tomorrow in case you didn’t know. Hope you have all your shopping done. Oh wait…I’m getting ahead of myself. For reals though…Christmas candy had already invaded the shelves of local grocery stores. Can’t I at least get through my mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving first?? Gosh.

Anyway, I digress. These two new holiday album releases are pure magic. Almost more than what Santa and his elves create at the North Pole with their workshop of toys and trinkets. Both of the albums catch beautiful moments of the season with upbeat classics and ballads of winter scenes and emotions. The only thing missing from both albums is the mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows.

Well, there you have it. The current obsessions of my life that don’t even involve any type of MCM.

I mean…who needs a MCM when you’ve got Starbucks, Viola Davis, and David Archuleta?

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

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Embracing The “I” In Single

Mr. Sunshine's avatar Mr. Sunshine November 5, 2018

My name is JP Welliver and “I” embrace the “I” in single.

According to Dictionary.com, the word “single” has a bunch of different definitions. It is used in our language as an adjective. The top three definitions are listed below:

  1. Only one in number; one only; unique; sole.
  2. Of, relating to, or suitable for one person only.
  3. Unmarried or not in a romantic relationship.

As I sit here reading these over and over again, they kind of just sit there…you know…much like how Thanksgiving dinner feels in your stomach after you stuff yourself with all the food that is placed in front of your eyes. Quite the image, right?! Ugh, now all I want is mashed potatoes, corn, turkey, and my personal favorite…CRANBERRY SAUCE. Literally, give me ALL the cranberry sauce. Good thing I only have to wait three more weeks! It is literally going to be here before we know it.

Anyway, I digress. Back to the single life.

I don’t know if it is just me; however, I feel like these days, more than ever, society tells us (or at least influences us) that we must have a partner by our side in order to be happy. It feels like a social stigma that is pushed on us from all different angles as we live out our daily lives. Whether it is that latest story line arc happening on TV’s most popular show, the plot from the hit movie currently playing at the movie theaters, or the damn advertisements for the next great Christmas romantic comedy on The Hallmark Channel (which I secretly LOVE and DISLIKE at the same time), it just seems to be around every corner…something that we can’t escape from no matter how hard we try.

I’ve been single for over 6 years now…and guess what?! I’m OK with that. It has never been a high priority on my list and quite honestly, I don’t feel it necessary to have someone by my side to make myself feel “whole” or “complete.” I am my own person who gets to have control over my entire life–from setting the wake-up time on the alarm for those early mornings to determining my own bed time every single night. It’s glorious. And what’s even better is that I don’t have anyone around to judge me on those nights when I want to eat raw cookie dough from the container…that’s right…I do that. And I embrace it 150%.

I’ve always been the type of person for as long as I can remember that has thrived on being busy and helping others. Heck…I probably came out of the womb like that. If you look at my daily planner you would probably become physically ill because there are very few days (if any) from now until the end of the year that have absolutely nothing written on them. That’s actually not a joke. I think there might be 1…or 2 at most.

For me, one of the greatest joys with being single is having the power to involve myself in things that make me feel fulfilled and happy on the inside. Whether it is working with customers to help their businesses grow bigger and better, helping fellow colleagues to improve their personal growth, or coming up with the next big project for sharing kindness (January 2nd can’t come soon enough)…my heart seems to constantly be overflowing with love and compassion to fuel my drive to push forward with the greatest of energy.

Of course, like all things in life, being single comes with some struggles.

Even at 31, one of the biggest struggles that I experience with the single life is social media. Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook…all the outlets where I get to see pictures of engagements, weddings, happy couples…well…you know the rest. These posts are always something that strike up a bit of jealousy under the surface because my emotional intelligence seems to get the best of me more often than not. I become reactive and create stories in my head that you need to have that special someone by your side to have the smile that goes from ear to ear on your face.

Ultimately, in the end, I am very happy for these individuals that I witness in these posts, but I would be lying to you if I said a part of me didn’t become reactive and sour when I first see them. Yes, I said it. It’s out in the open. This is something I’m working on personally that will be a constant evolution (a revolving door so to speak) as I weave in and out of my emotions with growing older.

Are there days where I wish I could come home to that special someone ready to greet me with a hug when I walk in the front door after a really rough day at work? Absolutely.

Are there days where I wish that I could have that special someone on the couch to cuddle with me as I watch The Golden Girls for the 1000th time? I mean, duh.

But, then I wonder if these thoughts are the ones that society wants me to create in my mind. Are these the images that society wants me thinking? Will having someone by my side really make everything happy-go-lucky and perfect?

It’s the million dollar question that I will continue to explore the answer for as I live out life.

For me, life right now is about figuring out the next project or task in how to help others and display love and kindness to the community.

Right now, life is about defying the social stigma of those damn romantic comedies that tell us we need that special someone by our side.

Right now, life is about thriving on my jam packed schedule and embracing the nights of cookie dough eating.

Right now, a happy ending for me doesn’t involve a Prince Charming.

My name is JP Welliver and “I” embrace the “I” in single.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

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The Week From Hell.

Mr. Sunshine's avatar Mr. Sunshine October 29, 2018

I’m going to be blunt for a moment and not be very Mr. Sunshine like, so I apologize in advance. And while this blog post may not have the same kind of feel and energy like the others, there are emotions of anger and sadness that I must express.

It has been a week from hell. There have been tragedies not only on a national level, but also both a state and local level. Tie this all in with the added stress I’ve been feeling in regards to my dad and his health you have the formula for a pretty draining week both emotionally and physically. And while I try not to make it evident in my daily life, it is weeks like this that cause even the most optimistic Mr. Sunshine to stumble with trying to stay positive. It is weeks like this that cause the flame of light in my soul to dim.

Last week, I was writing at this time about my dad and his sudden admittance to the hospital for extreme weakness and sickness. This week, while our family knows a bit more to the condition that he was battling, there is still unknown fear ahead. It’s like the light at the end of the tunnel isn’t quite visible for him yet. I can’t begin to thank all the people who reached out with prayers, good thoughts, and vibes during this very trying time. For those who don’t know, my dad has been experiencing a lot of pain and discomfort. He was scheduled to have surgery on Friday of last week, but the Doctors cancelled at the last minute because was a bit under the weather and not quite 100%. On Sunday, after running my half marathon, I stopped by my parents’ house to say hello and he looked very lethargic and weak–and quite pale. He definitely didn’t seem like himself. He was taken to the ER where he ended up being admitted to the hospital for a few days. We later found out that he not only had a extremely high white blood cell count, but also had contracted sepsis, which is a life-threatening complication of an infection in the bloodstream. And while my dad is on the mend to hopefully becoming 100% again and prepare for surgery in the coming weeks, it scares the hell out of me. Seriously. The hell out of me. In the coming weeks, I would definitely appreciate continued good thoughts, prayers, and vibes for my dad. I honestly can’t thank you enough or tell you how much it means to me and my family. The support has been priceless and has made our hearts incredibly full–we can’t thank you enough.

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On Friday afternoon, I learned from some of my friends about a horrific car accident that took place right outside my former Alma Mater, Warwick High School. A 63 year-old woman driving recklessly crashed into a total of 8 cars, causing multiple injuries, and sending several high school students to the hospital. One of those students died during surgery on Friday and earlier today (Sunday morning), a second of those students passed away. Two completely innocent lives. Gone. I can’t imagine the pain that the families of these students are going through currently and I pray that they will be able to find comfort and healing in those around them for the support that they need to get through such a difficult time. It’s amazing how affected you can feel by these tragedies even when you are not directly related to the victims. Warwick High School was a home to me during the years of 2002-2006 and almost 12 years later, I feel even more connected as an alumni in the face of a terrible tragedy that claimed the lives of people that were way too young.

And as if these events weren’t enough, I opened CNN.com on Saturday to be blasted with the headline about a deadly shooting at a synagogue in Pittsburgh. Another 11 innocent lives. Gone. Why is it that in today’s world, it is impossible for us to open a newspaper or website without a headline that involves some type of negativity, death, shooting, bullying, or tragedy? Why has that become the norm?

I’m not going to lie…it is really hard for me…the eternal optimist to keep pushing forward during weeks like this. It’s hard for me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s hard for me to not feel knocked down and stuck under the world’s foot of negativity that suffocates me from staying positive and sharing the optimism and joys of life.

Tonight, as I wrote this post, I found myself listening to the following song on repeat. It is exactly how I seem to be feeling amongst all the shit that has happened in the past week, but offers the optimism and hope that we will be found in the moments of total darkness–whether it be by a complete stranger or someone whom we love and care for very much.

I encourage you all to take a few minutes to close your eyes, listen to the song, and really let it sink in.

Even when the dark comes crashing through, when you need someone to carry you, when you’re broken on the ground, YOU WILL BE FOUND.

It’s been a week from hell.

But amongst the hate, negativity, and tragedies you and I will be found. We will all be found.

And as the world tries to dim the flame inside our souls, we must lean on each other, support each other, and fight to find ways to keep the aspects of LOVE, KINDNESS and COMPASSION alive.

Each one of us must do our part to keep the sun streaming in on a broken world of darkness.

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Sprinkle sunshine always,
JP!

  • Uncategorized

The Other Side Of Sunshine: Fear, Waiting & The Unknown

Mr. Sunshine's avatar Mr. Sunshine October 22, 2018

Monday, August 20th started off like any other day. The alarm on my cell phone started chiming; I hit the snooze button, and refused to get out the warm blanket that I was cuddled in tightly. However, after a few moments of yelling internally at my body to stop being lazy, I dragged myself out of bed and decided to make myself presentable to take on the new day that had just started.

I walked out the front door, headed to my car, and traveled over to church where I was planning on doing some piano practicing. It was a beautiful day—the shine was shining brightly and everything just seemed to be perfect. I arrived at the church and started to tickle the ivories while singing in the privacy of the sanctuary—this is one of my favorite past times—it’s actually kind of therapeutic —a form of meditation that I enjoy.

Then, in the blink of an eye, everything changed.

I received a text message from my roommate Karey. Our dear friend from the theater, Pat Kautter had passed away. Some of you may already remember me talking about this previously (or heard through other facets of social media, but Pat Kautter was a very special individual who was fighting some very serious cancer in her body.

My phone dropped from my hands and my body collapsed to the floor where I started to bang with anger and cry uncontrollably. It felt like the sun that had been shining just moments ago in my travels had become less vibrant and warm. An individual who was incredibly special not only to me, but countless others had been taken too soon from us.

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Right now, as I sit here writing this at 11pm, I’m filled with fear of the unknown because I was informed by my mom that my dad was admitted to this hospital…just about an hour prior to me writing this post. Not only was his white blood cell count incredibly high, but his body was incredibly weak. He was supposed to have surgery this past Friday, which got cancelled because of his immune system not being 100%. Now this. The fear of waiting. The unknown. My mind is rushing in a million different directions. I want to stay strong for my Mom. I want to have no fear. But damn it. I just can’t. I just want to break down and cry. In private. I don’t want anyone to see me like this.

Side note: I want to take a quick moment for all the people who sent good vibes, thoughts, and prayers the past couple of days. My family and I are lucky to be surrounded by such love and support. You have no idea how much all this means to us. Truly.

Over the next couple of days, the fear of the unknown is going to eat at me–it is going to feed upon my emotions and knock down my energy exhuberance of vibrancy and sunshine.

Why does it always take a moment of pain, sorrow, the unknown, or death for us to realize how many blessings we have in life? Why does it take a moment of darkness for us to realize what we are thankful for?

In the next two months of 2018, we will celebrate some of the biggest holidays that our society recognizes. These holidays are ones that revolve around the themes of family, thankfulness, blessings, joy, and peace.

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These holidays are ones that will allow people of the community to come together and remind us that peace is a gift that ALL should receive regardless of ethnicity, religion, social status, and sexual orientation. These are holidays that will remind us that LOVE is a gift that we should show to ALL in the community and world.

In these next two months as we hustle and bustle about our lives, I both encourage and challenge you to take at least 10-15 minutes of each day to write down 1-2 things that you are thankful for. By the end of the year, you should have quite an extensive list.

Tell someone in your life today how much you appreciate them…how much you love them. Tell them right now.

Life can change in the blink of an eye. Don’t let a moment of darkness force you to remember all that you have in life to be thankful for.

Don’t let the fear of the unknown overcome your emotions.

Now, go.

Tell someone you love them before it’s too late…before that moment is gone forever.

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Sprinkle sunshine always,
JP!

  • Uncategorized

Be The Change.

Mr. Sunshine's avatar Mr. Sunshine October 15, 2018

Before I kick off my writings for Week 8 of my blog, I must thank everyone for their immense love and support that was displayed with last week’s post. The amount of positive response, comments, and feedback I received was truly overwhelming and humbling. Thank you for sticking with me on this journey and being a part of it. I’m truly overjoyed to have each and every one of you with me each step of the way.

As we continue to move closer to the end of 2018, it saddens me greatly that the people of this country continue to get more and more polarized. No matter what political affiliation you identify with, it seems that we keep getting further away from working together to find common ground and work toward solutions for the issues that face us both now in the present and also the future.

Gandhi once said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” On January 2, 2019, I will reveal and launch a special project that will work to accomplish just that. It will allow everyone to look inside their hearts and come together for a common goal. There’s lots of back end work going into this project; however, several moments from earlier this year will make it even more special and sentimental. It can’t get here soon enough!

These days, it is not uncommon for me to be asked the questions of “how do you stay so optimistic and positive” or “how do you keep a smile on your face?” While you would think that the answers to these questions could be quite loaded and lengthy, they are actually quite simple.

The secret? Well, read on!

And…go follow me on Instagram if you haven’t already by clicking here!

So, where was I? Oh yes, the secret answers to the above questions that you just read moments ago. I was brought up on the principles of putting others first and showing them both love and kindness. Life isn’t about having the most friends, the most money, the most expensive luxuries, or being the most popular. It’s about making positive change in the world with what you have and lifting up others. And on January 2, I will open a new chapter based on these principles with all of you that I hope you will be a part of as well.

How can YOU make positive change in the world and lift up others in your life?

About two years ago, Katie Couric interviewed my spirit animal, Betty White in regards to the current state of the country. It is a piece of material that I still find relevant today and I would encourage you to stop reading my blog for just two minutes and watch the below clip. You can pick up reading my blog on the other side…

If, after watching this clip, you can’t figure out why Betty White is my spirit animal, then I might ask you to get your noggin checked out…just kidding…kind of…sort of…not really.

Are you guilty of saying “I hate this” and “I hate that?” Those of you who know me and read my “About Me” section on this blog know that I do my best to not say “I hate” and always try to replace it with “I dislike very much.” As you go about your daily lives, I would like to challenge you to be a LOVER and not a HATER. Show LOVE by sharing a smile with a stranger on the street. Show LOVE by sending a note of appreciation to someone in your life. Share LOVE by giving a hug to someone you know is going through a rough time. Show LOVE by seeking to understand someone else’s view point about a controversial topic by truly listening without judgment and open ears.

There is no doubt that the world is a scary place. However, it is up to each and every one of us to make the positive change and give others the love and kindness they deserve.

So, start today. Don’t waste another minute. And the next time you want to start off your thoughts with “I hate this” or “I hate that”—think of Betty White and her words of wisdom.

Take a leap of faith and be the cockeyed optimist.

Be the change.

Sprinkle sunshine always,

JP!

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